Rihanna Is Moving to New York City

Today in celebrity gossip: RiRi is making a move east, we have some dubious new info on Prince Harry's love Cressida Bonas, and Madonna was texting during a movie.

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Well this should be fun! Rihanna, Barbadian pop singer extraordinaire, is fed up with Los Angeles. People keep trespassing on her property and trying to break in and stuff and she's sick of it. So when she is done with her current world tour next month, she will become a New York City resident. Apparently she quietly looked at some places in Manhattan when passing through town in September, which is all well and good, but don't you think she should move to Brooklyn instead? (Ha, don't "you" think that? Because clearly "you" think something about this?) She should look in Brooklyn. In Williamsburg, or some crazy loft in Bushwick or Bed-Stuy brownstone. I think she'd have more fun! Sure it wouldn't be quite as swanky (Williamsburg could be, though), but does she want/need swanky? The lady seems to like to have fun with people her age, and people her age don't live in Tribeca or wherever she's looking. Or if they do they're boring finance people and that's not who RiRi's going to want to hang out with. Look in Brooklyn, Rihanna. Lots of famous people live there, it's not so unheard of. Just look. Check it out. That's my advice. I'm sure she will take it. [Page Six]

Here, according to Us Weekly, are five things we DON'T know about Cressida Bonas, the minx who's ensnared world's most eligible bachelor Prince Harry. It would be fun if the five things were weird details, like about a gnarled toe or dead tooth or history of violence, but instead they're about who her parents are (a bank heiress and a haberdashery company chair) and where she went to school (Leeds — A real party school). The list gets kind of vague at points, with one entry being "Bonas isn't one to draw attention to herself." Huh. OK, I guess that is technically something we didn't know about her, sort of, but that's also a pretty subjective thing, especially considering that two entries down from that is, "The blonde beauty is actually a model -- and a singer!" We all know how singers and models hate drawing attention to themselves. That's just not a thing that singing or modeling is about, attention. So these are not very useful things to know about this Cressida "Cressy" Bonas. I want to know where the bodies are buried, what's rattling around all bony in her closet. I want to know about her dating history, about what she whispers to Harry in the dark, what she's promised him, and what he's promised her. I want to know all those things! Those are things we don't know that we need to know, Us Weekly. So I don't care what palace guard's family you have to threaten or what shifty maid or royal vizier you have to bribe, but you get us that information. And you get it now. Because once they are married it will be too late. Far too late. Please, the future of the crown, the future of love itself, is at stake. [Us Weekly]

A blonde woman in black lace gloves caused a bit of a commotion at the New York Film Festival premiere of 12 Years a Slave on Tuesday night. That's how Page Six sets up this little tale. With an unknown blonde woman in black lace gloves who was texting during the screening. During 12 Years a Slave! Texting during any move is a damn rude thing to do, but during that intense, important movie? Awful. Eventually someone turned around and told this woman to stop, and the woman, according to Page Six anyway, hissed back "It’s for business . . . enslaver!" What? What a crazy thing to say! Making a weird joke about slavery during a movie about slavery that you are text messaging through? And how is that enslaving someone? To tell them to stop texting during a movie? Anyway, guess who this blonde in black lace gloves was. Just guess. Did you figure it out? You did, good, of course it was Madonna. Who else would it be but Madonna? Saying "It's for business . . . enslaver" at a movie screening. That is one loony tunes lady, I tell ya. Been too famous for too long. That's what that is. Too famous for too damn long. #Enslaver [Page Six]

Lindsay Lohan's brother is apparently signed up for the dating app Tinder, and Lohan felt the need to share that fact with her 436,000 Instagram followers. That's pretty mean! He can't use Tinder now, that's for sure. Because everyone will be looking for him and then they'll just pester him because he's Lindsay Lohan's brother. Maybe he was really trying to use that app! Meet a nice girl (or guy, I don't know what's in his head or heart), settle down, get away from all the muck of the last ten years. But no, LiLo had to go and completely blow up her brother's spot. What a jerk. Though, there is also the possibility, especially considering that LiLo did the whole "@tinderapp" thing, that this was all some stunt marketing. That Lindsay was paid money to promote the app, whatever means necessary. So she called up her brother and asked if she could create a fake profile for him and he was all "Whatever' and hung up and went back to playing GTA V and that was that. That is distinctly possible! But whatever the reason, it isn't good. Nothing about it, no matter where it came from, is good. Like so much in their story. Like so very much there. [Daily Mail]

Uh oh. Actor Craig Robinson was arrested in the Bahamas yesterday while trying to board a plane with weed and ecstasy pills on his person. He plead guilty to two charges of drug possession, saying he brought the stuff from the States and didn't know it was illegal down in the the Bahamas, so oopsy. The judge fined him a thousand bucks and sent him on his way. So, no big deal. Though, he did fly on a U.S. plane laden with drugs to get to the Bahamas. He did admit to that. So that could be an issue somewhere down the road. He shouldn't keep doing that. That is a dangerous game. Don't bring drugs on planes! Doesn't that seem bad? One day you're bringing weed and ecstasy on a flight to the Bahamas, the next thing you know you're in a Brokedown Palace situation in Laos. Then where will you be? Huh? You'll be screwed, is where you'll be. Utterly screwed. Don't bring drugs on planes. It leads nowhere good. [TMZ]

Remember how yesterday we were talking about Zac Efron's new mansion in Los Feliz and how it kind of looked like a house that explicitly built for doing cocaine in, and how that was kind of troubling because Efron is newly sober and off the snow and everything? Well it turns out we were right to get some strange party vibes from the house. It seems that little reggae/R&B kid Sean Kingston used to live in the house, and boy did he have a lot of parties. Instagram is littered with photos of these bashes, which TMZ puts next to photos of the empty house that Efron bought. It's a ghostly effect. This house is haunted by parties, and I worry that that will be a problem for Efron. I mean, it'd be a problem for anyone. Party ghosts are hard to deal with. Look at Jack Torrance, haunted by those 1920s revelers. It's not good. It's not a good thing. Maybe he should move to New York with Rihanna. I know she might not be the best influence, but at least he wouldn't be alone. And he'd have stuff to do. There's nothing to do in LA. So much lonely time in your house. Think about this, Zac. Think long and hard about it. And then move to New York with Rihanna. [TMZ]

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.