Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr Are Done

Today in celebrity gossip: Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr have separated, the royal christening photos are here, and Giselle and Tom buy in the sky in New York.

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After three years of marriage, actor Orlando Bloom and his wife, model Miranda Kerr, have announced that they're splitting up. They've been separated for a few months, and now they are making it official. This comes as Bloom is performing in Romeo & Juliet on Broadway and Kerr is looking to break into acting. The couple has a son, Flynn, born almost three years ago. A rep for Bloom says that the split is amicable and that both of course still care for their son and the family, etc. So, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are both single again, you guys. Just like that two beings of pure beauty are unleashed upon the world and we, the normal gnomes and trolls staggering around out here, are supposed to deal with that somehow. Why don't they both go a'courting and we'll all go inside and they can let us know when they're done. Because there's no competing when they're on the market. It makes everyone crazy. So, go, you two, just have at it. We'll go watch a Four Weddings marathon or some sh-t and you just let us know when you've found new mates and then normal dating, for us wheezing ghouls, can recommence. [E!]

All right, you've all been troopers. Here is our last royals news of the week! ("News.") The official photographs of Prince George Alexander Louis's christening have been released. Not of him actually being christened, but the official portraits. The baby, arms raised in baby joy, with his mother and father. The baby, long lace gown on full display, with his grandfather and great-grandmother, she dressed in a regal cerulean blue. The prince with his step-grandmother and the rest of the family, including his uncle Harry, just a bunch of rich British people in a room. And then the prince with even more rich British people, his maternal grandparents, and his uncle James. (No Auntie Pippa.) They're all cheerful, happy photos, but of course radiate a certain kind of staid British stiffness that makes you realize that these boys, these princes, have spent a lot of their lives with boring old people. Sort of a sad thing. Ah well, it's the life that they were born into. And the life that Kate chose. Shortly after the christening, she donned a lustrous navy blue gown and headed out to a benefit for women in hedge funds. Yeah, a hedge funds benefit. I think it's like good hedge funds though? That give money to worthy causes? It's unclear. Anyway, she went to this event and she looked dynamite! So dynamite, in fact, that we can imagine Kate getting ready, standing in the foyer adjusting an earring, doing one last check of her hair, and then an arm snaking its way around her waist, an intake of breath, an "Mmmm" and then, hot in her ear, close and serious, "You smell good." Kate stiffening despite herself, saying "Harry, he'll be home any minute. And really anyone could see you. You can't be so bold like this." Harry burying his face in the crook of her neck, not caring just then, drunk with the scent of her. "Just one kiss before you go," he says, voice muffled. Kate suppresses a smile and says "You really are incorrigible. Nothing like your brother. I've got him good and trained." She breaks from his grip and wheels around. They are standing, there in the foyer, face to face, practically nose to nose. There he is, all fox-faced and expectant, sporting a charmingly laddish leer. "My god you're fit," she murmurs, before giving him a deep kiss, he responding in kind, and for a moment they both disappear and forget all their obligations and duties and chores and requirements. It is just the two of them, lost in each other. Found too, Kate thinks, and the minute she is conscious of it, clear in her head about what is happening, she pulls away. "Enough," she says. "Enough." She turns back to the mirror, checks her lipstick, smooths her hair. When they kissed she could feel a part of him pressing against her and she can still feel it now, a phantom pressure. "I really must be going," she says, grabbing her coat and striding out to the waiting car. Harry standing there, dumbstuck in love and not yet crazy with guilt. Though that will come. That and far worse. There will be guilt and then disaster, he suddenly knows. And he is both chilled and elated to realize just then that he really doesn't care. [Us Weekly; Us Weekly]

Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen already own a huge mega-mansion in Los Angeles and a home in Boston, but that is not enough! People cannot live on two mansions alone! So they've purchased a simple $14 million pied-à-terre here in New York City, in the new luxury highrise at One Madison Park. It's a three-bedroom condo on the 47th floor of the building, with views of all of Manhattan around them. And then of course Brooklyn and Long Island on one side and on the other New Jersey, and then if you really squint you can see all the way to Miami, where someone else in a high-rise, but not as high, is staring back. So, whenever they are in New York, they can go to their lovely home in the sky, and look down at how far they've come. Which is really what anyone wants whenever they decide to spend a little time in old New York. [Page Six]

Alert alert. Katie Holmes has joined Twitter! You can find her at @KatieHolmes212. The "212" is because she lives in Manhattan, I'm guessing. That's the Manhattan area code, for landline telephones. And cellphones too! Rare to have a 212 cellphone number, but I'm sure they exist. Anyway, tweet at her! I'm sure she will appreciate it. Ask her all your burning questions about Kerr Smith and what she thinks of Scandal. That's why she's there! And definitely follow her, because you might get more pictures like her first, which is her in South Africa with some of the cast of The Giver, including Jeff Bridges and Taylor Swift. Yes, Jeff Bridges, Katie Holmes, and Taylor Swift are all in one photo together. And we've now seen it because of her Twitter account. Thank you, Twitter. [People]

Here's a thing about Jon Cryer's ex-wife asking for $88,000 a month in child support, based on the notion that their 13-year-old son is being bullied and shamed at school because he's living like a pauper when he's with his mom, who currently only gets $8,000 a month in child support. The ex says that all of the boy's friends go on "exotic vacations in the summer and winter like Europe and Thailand," which he can't go on, thus feeling ashamed. Making matters worse, there are "huge birthday parties at expensive places like Sky High Sports and they invite the entire grade." So he's invited, but made to feel terrible for his poverty. And of course, "Last year there were multiple Bar Mitzvahs and Bat Mitzvahs all with custom invitations, a dress code and huge private receptions afterward." His Bar Mitzvah? In the parking lot of a Carl's Jr. in Reseda. That's what eight grand a month gets you. So, for the boy's sake, the ex would like some more moolah. Eleven times more. And that makes sense. If the young lad is jealous, and demeaned, because he can't go on skiing holidays in Gstaad or to jet-skiing parties in Ko Tao, then that should be rectified. He deserves it. All American children do. [TMZ]

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.