Grateful New Yorkers Pay $150 For Magic, Threesome-Granting Haircuts

In the Bumble & Bumble salon in New York City, a magical creature exists. Possibly related to Rumpelstiltskin, she goes by the  name Mischa G. and for a hefty price, she can give you a haircut that will result in coitus by the end of the night. 

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In the Bumble & Bumble salon in New York City, a magical creature exists. Possibly related to Rumpelstiltskin, she goes by the name Mischa G. and, for a hefty price, she can give you a haircut that will result in coitus by the end of the night.

Like any mythical creature, Mischa (who has awesome hair) learned this craft from the powerful men who dress in women's clothing — drag queens. "I get a lot of my inspiration from a bunch of drag queens who were my clients upstate. They aren’t necessarily the most confident people in the world, but they learn how to build up their confidence by altering their appearance," Mischa told the New York Post.  Unlike Rumpel, Mischa only charges $150 (instead of someone's first-born child).

The Post doesn't explain or why the market rate for a sex-inducing haircut is only $150, or if she has tested her skill on one the 32 virgins in the city, but the results speak for themselves. They write (and include a picture) about one of her happy clients:

"Your haircut got me a threesome!" texts Philip McElroy, a 21-year-old Hunter College student. A few seconds later, he follows up with: "Next time, I’ll give you a bigger tip!"

From McElroy's Facebook page, it looks like he's kept up the threesome coif. Though we aren't sure if it's resulted in more threesomes. Some of the results aren't so drastic. Sometimes people will just have to settle for cat calls (yay?):

Management consultant Jo Lim says her hairstyle lacked volume and movement and she felt “stuck in a rut.” Now, she gets cat calls in the street. 

It's unclear how long the spell of Mischa's "get laid" haircut lasts — it's possible that the magic is contingent on true love's kiss on the third day.

The unavoidable question is if sex is really that hard to come by for New Yorkers that one need to pay $150 every four weeks or so. A study by Trojan in 2012 found that New Yorkers have sex 156 times on average (around 3 times per week), a number much higher than the national average. So there's a lot of sex going on in New York, and that could possibly mean that people don't need these haircuts to procure it. But the haircuts can't hurt.

The Post's in-depth investigation into Mischa's magical cuts possibly point to the paper's effort to turn New York City into a land where fairytales still exist ... the kind of fairytales that you tell people in the Midwest so they can tell Aunt Ruth that the country is going down the toilet. Just last month they published a story about a beautiful New York woman who "needed" to make 300 sandwiches before the man of her dreams asked for her hand in marriage. Today, a hairstylist spinning split ends into sex. What will tomorrow bring?

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.