You Didn't Want an Inflatable Gay Best Friend Anyway

In the U.K., a gay best friend blow-up doll has been discontinued, leaving Brits scrambling to find real gay best friends who don't fit into a terrible 1999 stereotype.

In the U.K., a gay best friend blow-up doll has been discontinued, leaving Brits scrambling to find real gay best friends who don't fit into a terrible 1999 stereotype.

The "Inflatable g*y Best Friend" (why the word "gay" is censored, we don't know) was noticed on the site of Amazon-like company Tesco on Friday, though Tesco claims the toy hasn't been sold for months.

"This product was uploaded to the website by a third party seller but was removed from sale immediately because we found it offensive," a spokesperson for Tesco said. It's unclear whether the spokesperson's comments meant the product was offensive to children (the item was recommended to anyone ages 3 and up) or to the gay men the toy was depicting. ] The company did not say who the third-party retailer was, or how many of them have been sold.

A couple of lines into the 1998-ish description and the answer becomes pretty obvious:

If SEX in the City and Will & Grace taught us anything, it's that g*y best friends are in this season.

We've had the manbag, we've had leg warmers and iPhone fever, now it's time for the new craze.

Although not much can be said for his own attire, your Inflatable g*y Best Friend is ready to give you fashion advice, tell you if your bum looks big and b**ch about everyone who doesn't wear Jimmy Choo's."

All that's missing is the pull-string-activated greeting that makes this toy say "bitches!" and "drama" and you've got yourself the offensive stereotypical gay friend that you never wanted. It's hard to imagine what kind of person that would want genuinely want this toy — bachelorette parties come to mind ... we guess?

"We can’t imagine why any woman would choose to buy an inflatable gay best friend when there are two million of the real thing already available in modern Britain and most of them are much better looking than Tesco’s pale imitation," Ben Summerskill, head of the Stonewall charity, told Sky News. And if you're really bummed and wanted to make a gay friend just for the sake of that person being gay (which is, again, questionable) you could start with how you would with anyone else: say hello, tell him or her your name and offer to buy a beer.