William and Kate Reenter the World

Today in celebrity gossip: Prince William and Duchess Kate made their first post-baby public appearance last night, Nicole Kidman was knocked over, and Tom Hanks's jury duty ends in disaster.

Prince William and his wife, Duchess Catherine of Cambridge, had their first official engagement since the birth of their son, Prince George Alexander Louis, Future Ruler of All Britons, Someday King of the Anglican Realm, Current Lord of Filthynappy, last night. The couple spoke at the Tusk Conservation Awards at the Royal Society, an event that in some ways apologizes for all that stuff the British did with the animals in Africa about a hundred years ago. William seemed in good spirits, joking about his vociferous young son: "As you might have gathered, Catherine and I have recently become proud parents -- of a baby who has a voice to match any lion's roar!" Ahh, delightful. See it was an event for animals, so he said the lion thing. But of course somewhere in America, probably a gleaming fortress high in the Hollywood Hills, Katy Perry's Google alerts went off and she said, "Omigod, omigod, omigod, the king of England just said something about my song!" And all her hangers-on, the shapely girls in billowy tops, the twiggy young gay men wearing knit caps and small swatches of fabric they call tank-tops, freaked out and said things like "You made it, gurl!" and "That. Is. Everything." Because they did not understand. Anyway, William then went on to apologize if he and Kate seemed distracted, explaining that it was their first night out without their son, asking the crowd to "please excuse us if you see us nervously casting cheeky glances at our mobile phone." Which is funny. I mean it's funny to think about Wills and Kate having cellphones. What do they need a cellphone for? Can't they just blow that old mystical horn that Queen Elizabeth gave them, the one that summons anyone they want at any given time? Seems like the magic horn is way more efficient than some BlackBerry. But oh well. These are the modern times, I guess. It's a new generation of royals. No enchanted horns or gilded crying rooms for babies. It's just them and their phones, Kate and Will and little George, against the world. [Us Weekly]

Oh dear. Here is video of a terrible incident that happened yesterday. Nicole Kidman, Ice Queen of Tennessee, was returning to the Carlyle hotel after attending Calvin Klein's New York Fashion Week show and an overeager paparazzo on a bicycle was unable to stop as he zoomed toward her and ended up knocking her to the ground. This naturally caused a commotion, and when she stood up Kidman ordered someone to get the photographer's name, possibly so she can sue the rolled-up pants off of him. Meanwhile the dumb photographer kept saying "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" in this incredibly lame way. If only he had been apologizing for something deeper and bigger, offering apology not just to Nicole Kidman — who, it should be noted, is nearly indestructible after a procedure done by a reclusive Swiss doctor — but to the universe, to his ancestors, to everything in the world. "I'm sorry this is my life, that this is what I've chosen to do. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." But he wasn't, he was just embarrassed that he ran over Nicole Kidman on his bicycle while rushing to get a photograph of her walking into a hotel. TMZ later caught up with the photographer outside the police station and, not liking having a camera in his face, he did a little fake-out and then sprinted down the street into the evening, running and running and running, but never getting any further from himself. [TMZ]

Ugh. Are Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth still engaged? Still dating, even? Still a pair, an item, a thing? No one knows! But there is much whispering and speculation on the matter. The latest is that Hemsworth was seen kissing an unknown brunette woman at a pop-up club (a version of Bungalow 8, actually) during a Fashion Week party. Hemsworth's rep denies this rumor, and all other rumors. Page Six writes, "His rep also shot down a report that Liam was sexting with “Mad Men” star January Jones as 'tabloid fiction' and 'entirely fabricated.'" Ha. Can you imagine that life? The life wherein you at one point are rumored to be sexting January Jones? What a weird life! Anyway, Hemsworth is 23 years old, and Cyrus is 20, so if they have broken up, it's probably going to be OK. If Liam Hemsworth is kissing someone at a fashion roof party or sending intimate text messages to January Jones, it's probably fine. Everything will be all right. [Page Six]

Remember how Tom Hanks was on a jury earlier this week? And we were scratching our heads wondering how Tom Hanks being on a jury wouldn't be a distraction? Well, turns out it was completely distracting. But not for the other jurors. For the freaking prosecutor. The case ended in a plea bargain and possible disciplinary action when it was revealed that the young, rookie attorney trying the case for the state had approached Hanks outside of the courtroom and gushed to him about how cool it was that he was doing jury duty and probably asked him to sign a volley ball or something. ("No... With your blood.") Yup! So that seemed an awful lot like witness tampering to all involved and the thing went kablooey. Isn't that kind of sad? Tom Hanks tries to do his civic duty and be a regular Joe Jury, one of those "peers" they keep talking about, but some lawyer, who works for the state no less, has to go and muck it up, a domestic violence case ending in a $150 fine and that's it. Sigh. In so many ways stars are not at all like us. [TMZ]