Kim Kardashian Reenters the World

Today in celebrity gossip news: Kim Kardashian has made her first public appearances since giving birth, Pippa Middleton was caught kissing a guy, and Lindsay Lohan's parents have been banned from the TV.

Four months after giving birth to North West, the girlchild who will someday rule this galaxy and worlds far beyond it, Kim Kardashian has stepped out in public for the first time. She and her partner Kanye West were in Paris for that city's fashion week, and Kim, newly blonde, impressed with chic looks, some involving a camel-colored coat and a floppy hat. So Kim Kardashian is back on the scene! Finally. Did you miss her? I'm sure you missed her. What's not to miss, what with all the interesting things that she says and does all the time. So many of those things! Ha, OK, I mean I guess it is interesting that her daughter is going to be the queen of the entire universe, and that her granddaughter, born to North and Prince George Alexander Louis, will transcend all space and time and become an infinite being. But beyond that? Pfft. Didn't even notice Kim was gone. [Us Weekly]

Speaking of George Alexander Louis, his Auntie Pippa was caught snogging her boyfriend in a car this weekend. And by "caught" I mean a bunch of photographers ran up to her car and took pictures of her through the window. Pippa and the boyfriend, some kind of finance tycoon named Nico Jackson (which sounds like the title character on a Disney Channel show), were going to a London nightclub's 50th anniversary celebration and were on their way out when the cameras swarmed. People are curious if this guy is The One, and if there might be another fabulous wedding in the offing. Well, ha, not if a certain young prince has anything to say about it. It would probably be too suspicious to have this Nico character just disappear, so Harry will have to win Pippa away from him the proper way. The old fashioned way. He'll have to plan some sort of elaborate romantic surprise, like sending a Royal Air Force helicopter to pick her up and take her to an empty Scottish castle and then locking the doors behind her when she gets there and making her stay in the castle until she loves Harry. Y'know, like we've all done to win someone's heart. [Us Weekly]

Lindsay Lohan's ghoul parents, Dina and Michael, will not be on Lohan's upcoming OWN reality show docuseries, per an edict from on high. Not necessarily Oprah high, but high enough that it's definitely not gonna happen. This is a bloodsucking parent-free show, folks. This is all about Lindsay and her recovery. It's a serious program, not some opportunity for two jerks to be on television. It's an opportunity for one jerk to be on television, and OWN has already found that jerk. It's Lindsay Lohan, not her parents. I think this is ultimately a good thing. I mean, I don't know how authentic a show about recovery can be when the star's family isn't allowed to be on the show, but still. Those two remora fish don't need any more attention. They've had more than enough already. [TMZ]

Alec Baldwin has, shockingly, lashed out at someone. The usually cool calm and collected actor is mad at a film producer who said that Baldwin is a TV star, not a movie star. In response, Baldwin said this to TV Guide:

He reminds me of a B-level villain in a Bond film. It’s a part Robert Davi would play if you couldn’t get Alan Rickman with a cat in his lap. He’s a pockmarked toady who hops from yacht to yacht and bed to bed. So when some bloated little toad like Busson labels me a certain way, I say to myself, ‘Consider the source.’ If movie stardom meant being trapped on a yacht with Busson, I’d rather be a weatherman for Ch. 4 in New York.

Burnnn! Isn't that great? I don't know anything about the guy he's angry at, but he's probably a jerk, right? He's a hedge fund millionaire turned movie producer for crying out loud. He's bound to be sort of terrible. So this is funny, that Alec Baldwin is so angry and saying all these things about this guy. Crazy old Alec Baldwin. [Page Six]