Goodbye, 'Hoarders'

A&E cancels its second affliction show, Robert De Niro fills in for James Gandolfini, and Wolf of Wall Street is way too long.

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A&E cancels its second affliction show, Robert De Niro fills in for James Gandolfini, and Wolf of Wall Street is way too long.

Well, feel free to fill your living room with doll clothes and Arby's wrappers, or stuff your garage with broken gun racks and old newspapers, because nobody's gonna stop you now. A&E has canceled its hoarders intervention series Hoarders (not Intervention, which was canceled earlier this year) after six seasons and 71 episodes. So, no more peeks into the scary homes of people with this peculiar psychological affliction, no more gasping in horror at grimly discovered cat poop or watching as some poor soul wails as all their broken vacuum cleaners are thrown out. Well, except for TLC's Hoarding: Buried Alive, of course. But really, Hoarders was the Cadillac of hoarding shows, and now it's gone. A&E is clearly trying to shift their branding a bit, now that they've got some scripted shows that people like watching (Longmire, the completely insane Bates Motel). They're going for more AMC, less TLC. Which makes sense. Though, what happens to people with hoarding problems now that the glare of national attention is moving elsewhere? [Vulture]

Robert De Niro will replace James Gandolfini in the HBO miniseries Criminal Justice, from the excellent crime writer Richard Price. De Niro will play "an ambulance-chasing New York City attorney" who "gets in over-his-head when he takes on the case of a Pakistani (Ahmed) accused of murdering a girl on the Upper West Side." Hm. There's nothing terribly ambulance-chasey about Robert De Niro, but he's been doing some new stuff recently (and by "new stuff" I mean "acting") so he's probably up for a little challenge. Of course it would have been better to see Gandolfini in the role, but I'm glad the thing is still being made. [Deadline]

Back in the old days, before anyone knew what Los Pollos Hermanos is or what "I am the one who knocks" means, Bryan Cranston needed a job. He was done with Malcolm in the Middle and Breaking Bad hadn't come around yet, and so he did what many an out of work actor does every day: He took a seedy gig because he was desperate. Yes, Bryan Cranston did some guest work on How I Met Your Mother. With Josh Radnor. And now that Breaking Bad is over, he's sadly been forced to crawl back, to do that filthy work again. He'll guest star in an episode on the show's last season, playing Ted Mosby's (why are all the names in How I Met Your Mother so ridiculous?) mean boss. It's so sad. I know I shouldn't judge, and that many think How I Met Your Mother is a valid form of artistic expression, but to me it's just so unseemly and so degrading. To put yourself on display like that, doing those things. It's immoral, really. I'm sorry, but it is. How did Bryan Cranston fall so quickly? Though I guess it's at least good he's not doing The Big Bang Theory. I hear they for real kill people on film over there. [The Hollywood Reporter]

At the moment, Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street is clocking in at a whopping three hours long. Paramount isn't thrilled about this, so they are making plans to move the release date of the film to Christmas so Scorsese can have some more time to cut the film down. More time for less time. If they push the movie to Christmas, that means that Jack Ryan, the Kenneth Branagh reboot of the Tom Clancy franchise, might get pushed to the wintry cinema wastelands of January, which would be too bad for them. An even direr possibility is that Wolf won't be finished by Christmas, meaning it would be pushed to sometime in 2014. Yikes! Why not just release the long movie? I know the common wisdom is that people are scared of long movies, but Avatar was 2 hours and 40 minutes and Titanic was 3 hours and 15 minutes, and I think those movies did pretty well? Not that they're really comparable, but come on. Look how well Prisoners did on opening weekend. That's a two-and-a-half-hour movie. So what's an extra half-hour? For a Martin Scorsese movie no less? Just do it, Paramount. Put out the long movie. I mean, all you stand to lose is millions and millions of dollars. That's all! [Entertainment Weekly]

"Rumer Wilis Joins E! Pilot 'Songbyrd'" That is the headline. Only one word in that headline makes sense. The rest is just letters strangely arranged. Rummerwillis Joinsypilot Songbyrd. A hippie alien's name. Something that will crawl out of a vortex in Sedona. Who knows. But nothing from this place, from this world. That's for sure. [Deadline]

Here is the first trailer for Need for Speed, an adaptation of the car racing video game starring Breaking Bad's Aaron Paul. Everything we see is very silly, like c'mon dudes we already saw Drive, but the movie nonetheless looks kind of fun? Like maybe slyly aware of its own goofiness? That's the impression I get, anyway.

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