The Race to Finish Calvin Klein's Mansion

Today in celebrity gossip: Calvin Klein is desperately trying to finish his new house before Labor Day, the first official royal family photos are here, and Dick Van Dyke had a scary thing happen yesterday. 

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The rich and connected of the Hamptons are finishing their summer with anxiety. No it's not because Dabney's new boyfriend goes to SUNY Stonybrook of all places and they just want their little girl to end up with the right boy. It's not because Brooks totaled yet another car and has been sniffing around yet another pool boy, when all they want him to do is finish up at Wharton and join the firm. It's not anything like that. It's also, um, not the troubles in Egypt making them anxious, or concerns about the NSA, or that they're still rattled by that Frontline about the erosion of the middle class. No, it's because Calvin Klein's glorious new Meadow Lane mansion isn't finished yet and that means he might not have a big Labor Day party. While his ex-boyfriend self-immolates, Klein is working around the clock loading furniture and other things into the glass palace while curious neighbors sneak peeks through bushes and fences and whatnot. Everyone's eager for the house to be done because, Page Six tells us, Klein had a Hamptons housewarming back in 2004 that people still talk about. The party of the decade! And they'd like to do that again. Let Dabney run around with whoever she wants, she's still young. Brooks will straighten up just like his father did, this recklessness, and these... incidents... with local boys, it's all just a phase. And Egypt will sort itself out, they always seem to, don't they? The government isn't looking in on them, so who really cares. The middle class is still going strong, why, just look at Joe Biden. No, all of that will be fine. But this house, this wonderful almost-there house. Will it be finished in time? The lords and ladies of the Hamptons sit on sun-coddled porches, the blue sea twinkling sadly, and they sip their iced tea or white wine and they wonder, and they worry, and they watch birds flit over the bay, set aloft by hope, propelled forward by wishes. [Page Six]

As some of you may have already seen, as they leaked yesterday before they were officially released, we've our first formal photographs of Prince William, Princess Catherine, their new baby Prince George, and the dog Lupo, all together as a happy little family. And, really, they're not actually that formal. They were simply taken by Kate's dad, in the garden at the Middleton home in Bucklebury. Yeah, that's it. No portraiture studio with some stuffy old professional photographer. Just dad with his Nikon in the backyard. How common! Which I suppose was the point. This is a new generation of royals, one that doesn't flaunt its difference but embraces its commonalities. William and Kate are just a young working couple with a newborn son, living as humbly as they can. Sure they've got all the helicopters and country homes and royal apartments in London and all that. But that's it. That's the only difference. I mean, most people's grandmothers technically have the power to go to declare war on Belgium, right? That's just a thing most grans can do. So yeah, things are pretty normal. Though, it'd be nice if more of us also had sexy brothers-in-law, dashing bachelors who spoke a bit cheekily, a bit roughly, to us one afternoon in the stables, leaning in close with a vulpine grin, a charged moment we still think about even after all these months, all this change. That's something we sadly don't all have. [Us Weekly]

So, well, this is embarrassing. You know Thomas Gibson? He's Greg from Dharma & Greg and also from that show Criminal Minds. (He's not Greg from Criminal Minds, he's someone else from that show.) Well, it seems he was in an online relationship with a woman for about two years, sending various sexy things to each other, but he's now learned that the woman is a fake, that she was sending him pictures from a porn site, not ones of herself. So Thomas Gibson got catfished. And when people found out about this embarrassing thing, they all said, hey wait a minute aren't you married, and it looked like Thomas Gibson was not only catfished by some weird fake lady, but he was also cheating on his wife to some extent. But, Gibson says that he and his wife had been separated for six months already when he began talking to Chesty LaRue or whatever she called herself, so it wasn't cheating. TMZ seems to believe him, but who knows what the truth is. Basically this is a deeply mortifying situation and we're all pretty much jerks for talking about it. Or, I'm a jerk. You very likely weren't talking or thinking about it until this very moment. Sorry about that. Let's just... Let's just be done with this and walk away right... now. [TMZ]

Dick Van Dyke was pulled from his Jaguar yesterday after it flipped over an ottoman and burst into flames. Well, no, there was no ottoman, but everything else is true. Van Dyke was seemingly unharmed and his wife took him home a bit later. So that's scary, his car just catching fire like that. Though, not as scary as what Van Dyke might have been on his way to do. [People]

Uh oh. Miley Cyrus is sick of her short hair. She told Kelly Osbourne on Fashion Police that she's lately been tugging at it and taking hair growth potions, wanting it to grow faster, which... I'm not sure that really works? Sounds a bit like Bart Simpson trying to make himself taller so he could play Fallout Boy. But yeah, Miley wants to have long hair again, but she said of her short hair that she will "rock it while I have it." Interesting. That is essentially John Cusack's philosophy when it comes to his hair too. It works for him, Miley. It can work for you. [Us Weekly]

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