First off: Justin Guarini. Do we all know who I'm talking about here? It's OK to say if you don't, that's perfectly understandable. He's the Justin in From Justin to Kelly, meaning he's the first-season American Idol contestant who finished second to Kelly Clarkson. With the curly hair? You remember. So, now that we're all on the same page, it seems that Guarini recently wrote a blog post on his ding-dang blog in which he said things like, "I have spent days skipping meals in order to make sure I have enough. To make sure my children, and my wife have enough." He talked about how he's not famous anymore and about how in the past he could have dropped money on a house like nothing, but now he rents. So people assumed this all meant that Justin Guarini is broke as a m.f. joke. But, no! He's fine, he says. He tweeted a response to the responses, saying "Obviously you completely missed the point of my letter @peoplemag. News isn't news anymore, and I'm nowhere near poverty. #twistedmytruth." See, People ran a post yesterday implying that Guarini is living in miserable indigence. But Justin says he's not. So. What now? Well, Guarini is going to appear on Broadway with Orlando Bloom in Romeo and Juliet starting later this month. Which is decent work! It's a small role, he's playing Paris, but still. It's something. That said, wouldn't it be kind of fun if Kelly Clarkson called him up and was like, "Justin. Read the blog. What's going on. Do you want a million dollars? Honestly I will give you a million dollars if you want it. I don't need it. Have you heard my wedding song? That sh-t's gonna be paying for my great-great-grandkids' college. So, I'm good for it if you want it. No presh though. OK, Kelly out." I think that should happen. [Us Weekly]
There's not really a story here, but you might find it interesting to look at these pictures of Mary-Kate Olsen with the daughter of her boyfriend, Olivier Sarkozy. As in brother of the former French president. The daughter, whose name we don't know, appears to be in her early teens maybe, and yet is still taller than Olsen, her dad's girlfriend. The pictures were taken in Tribeca on Thursday afternoon. And, I don't know. Mary-Kate is wearing an interesting outfit. And it's an interesting pair of people. The whole thing is just... interesting. What do you think they were talking about? And was Mary-Kate, like, in charge of this child for the afternoon? Is this all viral marketing for the return of The Little Couple? What exactly is happening here. That's what I want to know. I just want some answers. Some facts. What is happening not just in these pictures but with that whollllle situation. Justin Guarini is eating sawdust in a dark mobile home somewhere and then this is happening. And I want to know why. And how. All of it. Is Olivier just Mary-Kate's passport to Paris? A brief holiday in the sun? I mean, look, when in Rome, right? But I'm sick of hearing "our lips are sealed" whenever anyone asks Mary-Kate and Olivier about their relationship. That's all. It's more frustrating than McKayla Maroney not winning London. [Daily Mail]
Oh thank god. Us Weekly has the exclusive that Kellan Lutz and Sharni Vinson are dating again. Phew. All us Karni shippers were so worried, but it looks like things are good once more. Kellan and Sharni, finally back together. Think of all the good times they have together. Kellan and Sharni. "Hello, I'm Kellan." "And I'm Sharni." "Hi... Um... I'm Ted and this is..." "Barb. We're Ted and Barb." "Hello. We're Kellan and Sharni. I'm Sharni. And he's Kellan." You know, typical romantic stuff like that. Must be a lovely time! I hope they never split up again, Kellan and Sharni. Could they someday be Kellan and Sharni Lutz-Vinson? Let's sincerely hope so. #Karni [Us Weekly]
In one month's time, Catherine, Princess of England, mother of the One True Heir, the Harpy of Holyhead, will return to her royal duties. She's been on mother-leave with her new baby Prince George, but the empire can only wait for so long, and so she'll accompany her husband, William, to a function on September 12. It's an awards dinner for something called the Tusk Trust, so I assume Kate and Wills will be hobknobbing with pith-helmeted old hunters, explorers, and adventurers, who will regale them with stories of the Boer Wars and other exploits with the Zulus. Then it will be time for the awards, with categories like "Best Bloody Good Gin and Fizz, Chap" and "Best Handling of an Elephant Gun While Being Chased into a Diamond Mine By a Lion." You know, British stuff. Tusk Trust stuff. Should be fun! While Kate is at the event, little Prince George will be with his grandmama, she sternly parading him around the palace showing him each portrait of the kings of old, describing in great detail how they died and saying things like, "One must never trust the French" and "Someday, dark India, the jewel in the crown, will be ours again." To the royals! [People]
Kelly Bensimon, formerly of Real Housewives of New York, tells Page Six that she is having an "estate sale." Selling things like "surfboards, canoes, cookware, Italian-designed beds, sheepskin rugs, [and] vintage wood tables" and, according to Bensimon herself, "at an affordable price." Hm. OK. And where is this "estate sale" happening? Sotheby's? Well, not exactly. It's at the East Hampton restaurant Georgica. Sort of. This is the last sentence in Page Six's item about this whole thing: "The former 'Real Housewives of New York' castmate and her daughter, Sea, will oversee the sale — which starts at 9 a.m. and will be held in the East End restaurant’s parking lot." Oh. Ha. OK. So Kelly Bensimon is having a garage sale in the parking lot of a restaurant. Great. Sounds fun. If anyone goes, let me know how it is. And pick me up a surfboard or something. In the meantime, I'm going to try to put Kelly Bensimon in touch with Kelly Clarkson. [Page Six]
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