Harry Styles Twerked
Today in celebrity gossip: Harry Styles got freaky, Justin Bieber got naked, Jen Aniston had a party, and Duchess Kate is breaking all the rules.
Well, it's finally happened. Tell your teenage daughter or son that they can stop doing all that strange and ritualistic chanting they've been doing, kneeling in front of a shrine in the basement, scattering chicken bones (at least you hope those are chicken bones -- you never thought you'd ever think "I sure hope those are chicken bones") on the floor and rocking back and forth as if in a trance. They can stop because their feverish and frightening prayers have been answered: Harry Styles, the floppy topped main heartthrob from One Direction, has twerked. Yes, it was the Teen Choice Awards last night, when teens finally get to pick what they like in popular culture, teens' taste in pop culture so rarely being addressed or catered to for the other 364 days of the year. At one point, hosts Darren "Glee" Criss and Lucy "Pretty Little Liars" Hale got Styles out of his seat and that's when he proceeded to twerk-dance. And now there's a GIF of it and everyone everywhere is freaking the freak out. Who will twerk next? So many people are twerking these days that it's only a matter of time before someone from Teen Wolf twerks, and then Robert Pattinson, and then Ryan Gosling. Bradley Cooper will twerk and so too will George Clooney, and so and so on until Robert Redford, craggy grampa of all heartthrobs, is himelf twerking atop a Utah mountain. Butt proudly stuck out, hips a'rumble, clear mountain sun illuminating his golden hair. And all because Harry Styles went twerking. Men, a'twerk. [Us Weekly]
Justin Bieber didn't twerk, that we know of at least, but he did get naked and play guitar in front of his family for a Thanksgiving prank last year. Yeah, you know, the grand tradition of a Thanksgiving prank, a Turkey Day goof. Hm. Maybe it's just a Canadian Thanksgiving thing. The point is, Justin took off his clothes and strutted around in front of his family, grandmother included, with a guitar covering his most private area, the front of it at least. And someone took pictures and now those pictures have made their way into the regular world. I say "regular world" because I mean the world outside of his family, but also because it is not that normal for an 18-year-old kid to want to be naked in front of his grandmoms and other assorted family members? At least not in my family. I dunno. Seems a little strange to me. But, again, Canada. They do things different up there. Maybe in Canada it's weird if you don't see your 18-year-old grandson's naked butt on Thanksgiving? Who knows. What we can be certain of is that there are now millions of people pulling at their hair (or otherwise) and saying through clenched teeth, "Must... have... that... guitar..." And someone will get it, I'm sure. [TMZ]
Jennifer Aniston threw a birthday party for her fiance Justin Theroux this weekend, and it sounds like quite the affair. Oh, sorry, no, shouldn't say that word around her. It was quite the happening. Justin was allowed to have some friends over in the afternoon and they played in the pool and ate snacks and laughed a lot. And then it was time for Justin to get into his party clothes, and a bunch of people started showing up. What kind of people? Oh, people like Kristen Bell and Jason Bateman and Laura Dern and Tobey Maguire and Sacha Baron Cohen and Ben Stiller and Ellen DeGeneres and Emily Blunt and John Krasinski. They ate a catered barbecue buffet and milled about Aniston's $21 million mansion. It sounds like it was quite a party. Hopefully it bought Jen some more time. Because she knows that Angelina is getting close. She awakes with a start at night and hears the scratching on the floorboards. She's seen the crows and ravens that have settled in the trees in the backyard, cawing at her, perhaps in mocking, perhaps in warning. The tap water has gone thin and vinegary, all her potted plants have wilted. Angelina is coming, coming for her man, and there's only so much poor Jen Aniston can do to stop her. [Us Weekly]
Duchess Kate, Princess of the United Kingdom and most holy mother of the One True Child, is further shaking things up in the royal family. Rather than installing her newborn son in one of the niches in Kensington palace, where he would grow to be as gnarled and pale and deficient in bone density as befits a King of England, she is spending the early days with her son, Prince George, at her parents' house. That's radical enough, but now the news comes that she might not pose with George for official photographs! The plan at the moment instead seems to be that the Middleton family will take photos of bouncing baby Britain themselves and release those. How informal! I hope Camilla is outraged. There might be more official photos when George is christened, but then again, maybe that won't happen either. Maybe Kate has some nefarious plan to raise the boy as a Zoroastrian or Bahá'í or, god forbid, a Catholic. (I guess there'd be a christening in that situation too, but not the right kind.) I know that it's the '90s and things are changing, but Kate seems dangerously unconcerned with tradition. Next thing you know she'll be sending the child to school in America. [People]
Katie Holmes bought Suri a scooter. A pink one. Upon hearing about his daughter's new pink scooter, her father Tom Cruise pouted and said "No fair, I want one too." [Page Six]
This Daily Mail article about Gwyneth Paltrow, the seventh noble gas, is about a book signing in East Hampton and about how much her daughter Apple looks like her. Which, yes, they do look a lot alike, and both children should grow up to be quite fetching. But there's a very important detailed buried in the post: Both of Paltrow's children have British accents. Hadn't you always wondered that?? I certainly had, and now Daily Mail has answered our (my) burning question. What a service. That is very helpful. Of course they'll probably lose the accents some, now that they're moving to Los Angeles (though they'll probably move back to England someday, the Daily Mail says hopefully), but it's important to know that now, at this moment, they have them. And they probably call Gwyneth "mum" or "mummie" and that, I'm sure, pleases her a great deal. [Daily Mail]