All of Time Warner's Customers Are Pirating 'Under the Dome'

Today in show business news: CBS-less people are stealing Under the Dome in droves, Milla Jovovich books a serious role, and France is about to make the best TV show ever. 

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Today in show business news: CBS-less people are stealing Under the Dome in droves, Milla Jovovich books a serious role, and France is about to make the best TV show ever. 

While Time Warner Cable and CBS squabble over transmission fees, meaning TWC is not airing CBS, Showtime, and several other CBS-owned stations in many cities across the nation, fans of CBS programming are being forced to get creative. Particularly, fans of Under the Dome have been pirating the show like crazy. Because you just cannot stand between a domehead and their #dome. Gotta have the #dome. Piracy rates went up a whopping 34% last weekend, just after TWC pulled the plug on CBS. So, you gotta get this sorted out, CBS. Because tons of people are stealing your #dome. And you can't have folks stealin' dome for too long or they'll get used to it. Because a domehead doesn't quit, no sir. You ask any committed domer out there and he'll tell you. Ain't no mountain high enough, valley low enough, or mysterious dome thick enough to keep us from getting our #dome. We're gonna dome no matter what, so CBS may as well make it happen on their terms. Fix this ish, guys. Fix it. Plus it'd be nice to watch Dexter too. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Well how about that. Milla Jovovich is getting Shakespearean. The Resident Evil actress, who will forever be likable if for no other reason than The Fifth Element (there are other reasons too, though), has joined the cast of the modernized Cymbeline, which stars Ethan Hawke and is being directed by Hawke's modern Hamlet director Michael Almereyda. Jovovich will play, in theory, the Queen, who plots to put her son on the throne instead of the rightful heir, Posthumus, who will be played by Penn Badgley. That's a fun role for her! And probably she won't have to slo-mo kill any zombies or hell hounds or anything in this one. I mean, who knows how "modern" this adaptation is going to get, but it seems unlikely that she will have to fire two pistols at some kind of infected horde while, I dunno, running on a wall or something. Shakespeare only gets as flashy as "Exeunt, pursued by a bear," so I think she's gonna get a break from all that. [Deadline]

So, TV actresses Chyler Leigh (Grey's Anatomy), Ally Walker (Profiler), and Jennifer Esposito (Blue Bloods) have all been cast on a TV show together. But! Not just any TV show. A French TV show. To be filmed in New York, but aired in France. The show is called Taxi: Brooklyn South and Deadline's description of it is perhaps the most marvelous thing you will read today. Take it away, Nellie Andreeva:

Taxi: Brooklyn South centers on Caitlyn Sullivan (Leigh), a brilliant investigator at the Brooklyn Police Station whose stubborn character and her recklessness behind the wheel have made her an outcast within the NYPD. She teams with Marseille-born Leo Romba, a happy New York Taxi driver full of energy and care for his clients, to form the most improbable and efficient partnership to solve crimes and mysteries around Brooklyn.

Yes. YES! A show about a French taxi driver solving mysteries in Brooklyn. All of our dreams have come true. Also: "the Brooklyn Police Station." Oh, right, the Brooklyn Police Station. Where you go if there's a crime in Brooklyn. You go to the one police station that's there, in Brooklyn. Ah, French people. That's wonderful. "Eet ees une show about zee Brooklyn Police Station. Brooklyn cops, bang bang, wow, pizza, Coney Island, are you talkin' to me. All of zat." I can't wait for this show. I'm going to move to Paris to watch this show. Finally an excuse to move to Paris. Thanks, Taxi: Brooklyn South. And thanks to all the fine folks at the Brooklyn Police Station. [Deadline]

Here is a trailer for Winnie, the Winnie Mandela biopic starring Jennifer Hudson and Terrence Howard. And, y'know what, I must say that it seems like Jennifer Hudson might not be too bad in it! That's a surprise to me, I'll admit it. But there it is. What we see in this trailer looks, I dunno, not too shabby. Way to surprise us, J.Hud. Or me, at least. Naomie Harris might have some competition after all.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.