5:14 p.m. British ambassador to the U.S. Peter Westmacott theorized the baby would be named James, George or Andrew. Ugh, those have been the front-running names all along. So no curveballs in the name department, apparently. Wait, no! What does this guy know? Nothing, that's what. We're still hoping for Prince Azalea Cabbage-patch Crumblebottom of Cambridge.
5:02 p.m. "It was a natural birth, from what we can tell," CNN's royal expert Max Foster just told Wolf Blitzer. "It certainly wasn't a C-section." Well then what was it, Max, a supernatural birth?! Let the conspiracies begin.
4:28 p.m. Naturally, with not a lot of information to go off of, talk in the news sphere has now shifted to other topics like what is Prince Charles saying (obviously good things) and, whether or not this baby is good looking. And well, it's being described as beautiful:
Though, you have to wonder if there are any British souls out there who would dare call this baby ugly.
3:57 p.m. Companies are apparently dusting off the royal baby social media ads they made nine months ago. Within minutes of the new prince's birth, Oreo released this not well-liked "bottle service" tweet:
Coca-Cola had their own social media ad/congrats message too:
As did toilet paper company Charmin:
Huggies has not capitalized on this moment ... yet. But yes, we're having quite a moment in real-time advertising, and by moment we mean backlash. While Oreo was praised for its real-time Super Bowl blackout tweet, people are tweeting a different tune today and seemingly turning on the brand for capitalizing on the birth of the royal baby. But c'mon—the two circumstances aren't that different in terms of spectacle and audience. Social media is one fickle beast.
3:46 p.m. The baby is here and it's a boy! And right on cue, ridiculous coverage has followed. CNN has become the first to say something tone-deaf about the brand new baby, with a commentator stating that Kate is now a better royal because she brought a boy into this world:
We get the idea—that women who didn't produce male heirs back in the day were considered "bad." We thought we were past that whole idea, because, well it's really sexist and crooked (like Kate would've been terrible had she brought a girl into this world?) and two, we know that fathers determine if their baby will have a Y-chromosome. CNN wasn't alone in this Kate-is-better-because-she-had-a-boy sentiment, as it was echoed by Daily Beast editor Tina Brown:
3:29 p.m. False alarm! No baby announcement coming soon, according to this BBC reporter:
Meanwhile, the 24-hour TV networks are occupied with the Pope's windowless drive through Rio, Brazil in a typical hatchback sedan instead of the traditional Pope-mobile. He's so humble, this pope.