Oprah Gives Lindsay Lohan a Reality Show

Today in show business news: Oprah Winfrey isn't doing Lindsay Lohan any favors, Anne Heche gets a new gig, and our first look at Mandela.

This article is from the archive of our partner .

There's no way this will end well, right? Oprah has booked Lindsay Lohan for a sit-down interview when she gets out of rehab, a big get for the struggling OWN network. And they're not stopping there. Lohan will also be featured in an eight-episode "docu-series" about getting her life back on track, reviving her career, and staying sober. So it's a reality show. Oprah Winfrey has decided that the best thing for Lindsay Lohan's recovery is her own reality show. Terrific. That's great, compassionate thinking right there. If there's one thing reality shows have shown over the past three thousand years, or however long reality shows have been around, it's that they are really healthy environments for people with mental health issues or substance abuse problems or both. Proven fact. So this is going to be great for Lindsay. Terrific thinking. Anyway, the series, which each and every one of us will of course be watching, will air sometime next year. [Entertainment Weekly]

Anne Heche has booked a guest starring gig on The Michael J. Fox Show, the upcoming sitcom that NBC has already ordered for an entire season. Heche is going to do several episodes, playing the anchor at NBC 4 news, where Fox is a reporter returning to his job after five years. Their characters have something of a contentious relationship it seems. Hey, sure, why not. Anne Heche is great. Really! Anne Heche is a very good actress who deserves more and better work. Did you see her on Hung? That show wasn't great, but she was great on it. She's great in all her things. I didn't watch the most recent show, the one about how she's talking to god or something, we've had enough of that in real life, but everything else. It's great. So, good for The Michael J. Fox Show. Well booked. [Entertainment Weekly]

Oh good grief. Has no one learned their lesson? The Lone Ranger was declared an epic bomb not even a week ago and Johnny Depp is already about to finalize his deal for Alice in Wonderland 2. I know, I know, that movie grossed like a billion dollars and has no real relation to Lone Ranger (other than star and studio), but still. I thought we could maybe take a break from Johnny Depp playing WaaAckKyyY characters for a while. I thought The Lone Ranger at least gave us that. But I guess not. He's doin' another Mad Hatter routine. And of course another Jack Sparrow. And I don't know, maybe for good measure he'll play Mary Poppins too. Why not! At this point, he might as well. Tim Burton's Mary Poppins, starring Johnny Depp. 2016 can't come fast enough! [Deadline]

Elijah Wood, Alison Pill, Rainn Wilson, Jack McBrayer, and Nasim Pedrad are all set to star in a horror-comedy called Cooties, about a group of teachers defending themselves against a horde of infected, zombie-like little kids. Which is kind of a cute concept until you ask one question: Are they going to be killing the little kid zombies? Because that seems awfully grim. But if they don't, then it's kind of lame. So they're damned if they do, damned if they don't. Anyway. Circle circle dot dot. Now I'm protected. [Deadline]

Here is a teaser trailer for Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, the biopic starring Idris Elba as South African hero Nelson Mandela and Naomie Harris as his wife, Winnie. This is not to be confused with the one starring Jennifer Hudson as Winnie. That's a completely different movie. This is the more prestigious of the two for sure. Elba sounds good, doesn't he? Duh.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.