Justin Bieber Is a Little Jerk
Today in celebrity gossip: Justin Bieber peed in a bad place, more details about the Clooney/Keibler split, and Prince William schedules a polo match at the wrong time.
Oy, this kid. Not satisfied with simply hot-dogging around his neighborhood in his fancy compensating-for-somethings, teen jerk Justin Bieber has befouled a restaurant's mop bucket. In a video from earlier this year that just surfaced this week, Bieber is seen peeing into a mop bucket in a restaurant kitchen, his friends recording and laughing and saying that the staff will now always remember Justin Bieber, because he peed in their cleaning thing. Great, wonderful. Terrific kids. TMZ is incensed, calling Bieber an "oblivious, self-important little twit who goes out of his way to make the working man's life miserable." And, well, they're not wrong! Essentially Justin is demanding that someone clean up his pee, and laughing about it. Look, all teens do stupid, thoughtessly mean things, but this kid is on another level. What a brat! What a little jerk. Then on his way out of the restaurant, for some reason Justin grabs a bottle of cleaning spray and sprays a photo of Bill Clinton (presumably of him eating at the restaurant?) that's on the wall and says "F--k Bill Clinton!" Whoa, easy there, Canada. Don't start some sort of international incident. So, yeah. This kid's a ponce. Where's his mom? Shouldn't she be slapping him upside the head or something? Heck, where's Scooter Braun? There's at least one adult in the video letting this thing happen. Adult: Stop the kid from being a complete jerk. I know he's your meal ticket, but come on. Someone needs to stop him. He's out of control. Who would have ever guessed that a boy who's spent his entire teenage years earning millions and millions of dollars and having millions of girls throw themselves at him and a whole cadre of adults cater to his every whim would wind up entitled and awful? You just can't see these things coming. Oh, also, a note to Justin's friends: Stop calling your sad little group of hangers-on the "Wild Kidz." There's nothing wild about driving cars around Calabasas or peeing in buckets. It's just lame. So, "Lame Kidz" would be acceptable, if you want to consider that. [TMZ]
More "news" about the George Clooney/Stacy Keibler split has trickled in. Us Weekly runs a salacious headline saying that the couple hadn't had sex in three months. Which, OK, I guess people are inferring that because they hadn't really seen each other in three months, George in Europe filming and Stacy in Los Angeles, doing some kind of TV show. So, that's hard. That's a strain. TMZ says that they broke up over the phone, Which is an unfortunate way to do it, but I guess it's really all you can do when you're thousands of miles apart. Well, they could have Skyped, but who wants to break up on video chat? No thanks. By all accounts things ended amicably, with the pair agreeing to stay friends. So, that's good. On with life, I suppose. And I think they'll be fine. She'll probably miss his palace on Lake Como, he'll miss dressing her up in Armani, but other than that things will continue on and eventually it will seem strange that they ever felt so much about something so small. [Us Weekly]
Huh. How about this. Duchess Kate, the bride of Britain, is set to give birth to the Commonwealth's most important child in 27 years pretty much any day now, and what is her husband, horselord Prince William, planning on doing with his weekend? Playing polo with his ne'er-do-well brother like some sort of wealthy bachelor instead of the someday King and father that he is. Shameful, just shameful. He should be by his wife's bedside. Well, no, not her bedside, because it is improper for a man to witness the birthing process, women must hide their sinful parts as best they can even in that time of great pain and struggle. But he should certainly be in another room of the palace, waiting for word on the status of his firstborn heir. Not gallivanting around on one of his precious horses, playing whack-a-ball with Harry the Dastard Prince. Charles ought to have a stern talking-to with his son, or at least have one of his advisors do it, and get that young man's head in the right place. There's a royal baby on its way and the crown needs all hands on deck, to use a commoner phrase. [People]
Brother-band member Kevin Jonas and his wife Danielle, who are on the E! reality show Married to Jonas, are expecting their first child. This is something they'd been talking about a lot on the show, so I'm glad that it's finally happened. You did it, Kevin! Like, with a girl! Well done. Very proud of you. Didn't think it could/would happen, but you screwed your courage to the sticking place, so to speak, and now it's baby time. That's how that works. No word yet on how far along she is or anything, but you can be certain about one thing: When Dani's almost due, Kevin won't be trotting around on some field playing polo. Not a chance. Because he doesn't like sports games and horses scare him. But also because he's a devoted husband. That too, of course. [Us Weekly]
Jeremy Renner is flipping a house he bought for an $18 million profit. Or at least he's trying to. He bought a house in Beverly Hills for $7 million a couple years ago, with some business partners as a business investment, and they had it renovated and redesigned and stuff, and now it's this gleaming wonderful showbiz palace and they want nearly $25 million for it. Which, if they put in the work and made it worth that, fine, sell it for what it's worth. But the Daily Mail has photos of what the house looks like now and... it's not very nice! I mean, it's just not my taste. It all looks a little stuffy and hotel-like. A dated hotel, even. I don't know. Eye of the beholder and all that, but I wouldn't pay $25 million for it. I mean that's more than I make in a year. I'm sure someone will, though. Someone always does. [Daily Mail]