Who Is Ryan Seacrest's Mystery Woman?

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It seems that Ryan Seacrest has gotten over his breakup with Dancing with the Stars vet Julianne Hough. He was seen out recently with another human female, at some sort of concert or something in Los Angeles. Well, he was apparently "overheard" saying he is "single and loving it," but no one has actually ever said "single and loving it" so we're just going to have to chalk that up to Page Six overreach. What's fact, I guess, is that he was seen with a young woman all night, some sort of blonde person whose side he would not leave. Who could it be? What actual woman has caught Ryan Seacrest's fancy? And is it suspicious that Ryan kept introducing her as "And this is my friend, who is definitely not Derek Hough wearing a wig"? These are all important and urgent questions. Who knows what mysteries dwell in the heart of Ryan Seacrest. [Page Six]

Amanda Bynes did some crazy tweets again, saying things about how she cannot date a German because she is Jewish and then apologizing to rapper Aubrey "Drake" Graham for calling him ugly. It is not news that Amanda Bynes said weird things on Twitter at this point, but what is news is that one Jonathan Jaxson, who pretends to be a publicist, has posted on his Twitter account what appears to be a text message conversation between him and Bynes. In it, she supposedly confesses that all her erratic behavior is an act, while Jaxson expresses mock concern before, y'know, posting the whole thing on Twitter. We should probably assume that the conversation is fake. Largely because Jonathan Jaxson is a ghoul who has been at this sad game for years. He pulled this routine with Lindsay Lohan a bunch of years ago and now he's doing it again. He used to flitter around when I worked at Gawker, always angling for some bit of attention, and I suppose I am giving it to him here, but it should be said that Jonathan Jaxson is a liar and a fake and let's all not listen to him starting right now. [Us Weekly, Daily Mail]

Oops! The other day Farrah Abraham, the Teen Mom star turned sex tape-wielding fame seeker, sent TMZ some screenshots of a text message conversation she had with Charlie Sheen (can we do something about screenshots of text message conversations? Like, can those be made illegal? Is that what PRISM is for? What is PRISM? Help) and now Charlie Sheen is very upset! He sent her some sort of message that TMZ has in full and it is ridiculous and sort of makes him the bad person even though he was technically wronged. In that he's insulting to transgender people, he says the phrase "stagnant douche agua," and also the phrase "pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life." Farrah Abraham is definitely sleazy for sending TMZ pictures of a private text message, but Charlie Sheen's response is pretty much just as bad. Can't wait for their wedding! [TMZ]

Ha. Here is a funny Page Six item about how Sofia Vergara ordered tea at a restaurant in the Hamptons but when she got the tea she didn't like the tea so she sent it back and got better tea. The headline is "Sofia Vergara tea'd off" but then the first line begins "Sofia Vergara got teed off." Which is it, Page Six? Tea'd or teed?? Commit to the joke or don't make it at all. If she was drinking tea at a golf course I could understand the confusion, but she was not at a golf course as far as I understand. She was at some awful restaurant. So if you want to go "tea'd" you stay "tea'd." Come on. Anyway, Sofia Vergara did not like her tea but she got new tea so everything's fine. I bet Sofia Vergara is simply a joy to hang out with. [Page Six]

Taylor Momsen, the little marmoset from Gossip Girl, has just signed a big modeling contract with Next Modeling Management, a reputable firm that represents people like Alexa Chung and, apparently, Lana del Rey. Who knows what sort of modeling gigs Momsen will get, but we can probably guess that she'll be chipper and sunshiny and smiling in all of them. Because that's what Taylor Momsen does. A ray of light, that one. Ah, that's mean. I shouldn't make fun of a small child's attempts at rebellion. Taylor Momsen wants to be goth-y and rock-ish and that's fine. Some kids want to do that. It's beyond silly, given her chosen profession(s), but if you can't do things that are beyond silly when you're a teenager, when can you do them. So Taylor Momsen will continue to be paid lots of money to be ridiculous and that's just how the world works. We can't do anything about it, so why get mad at it. Yay Taylor Momsen. Enjoy it. [Us Weekly]

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.