For years, same-sex marriage opponents have warned of a dystopian legal future in which humans marry their dogs, a recurring "joke" that had more bark than bite, more offensiveness than humor. But, hey, the anti-gay crowd still had the official upper hand when it came to the letter of the law, if not public opinion. Today, the joke's on the bigots.
#SCOTUS strikes down DOMA! You mean to tell me, "What's next, people marrying dogs?" wasn't a good legal argument?— CC:Indecision (@indecision) June 26, 2013
Enright doesn't even have a dog (he's a friend), but that's neither here nor there — he and Comedy Central and many, many others are riffing on the slippery-slope argument that the Rush Limbaughs of the world have long employed to scare people into being afraid of gay marriage. Just this past February, Limbaugh himself told his listeners:
Definitions of family, what constitutes families is now wide open, and pretty soon you're gonna be able to marry your dog, your dog's going to be an official member of your family and will qualify for benefits.
Obviously, gay-rights advocates didn't put up the huge legal fight — the one that ended up today with Edie Windsor wanting "go to Stonewall right now" and Kristin Perry and Sandra Stier on the phone with President Obama on live TV — just so they could marry their pets. But the running bigoted logic aims to draw a comparison between gay people and bestiality (see: Montana's state legislature) and to scare straight people into believing a lawless dog-marrying society would be the result of, you know, equality. Tomorrow magazine actually had a great cartoon (pictured at right) displaying the ridiculousness of this argument.