Lindsay Lohan Has Been Accounted For

Today in celebrity news: Lindsay Lohan is at the Betty Ford Center, the fascinating Reese Witherspoon arrest footage has been unearthed, and Lance Bass thinks that someone in One Direction is gay.

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Today in celebrity news: Lindsay Lohan is at the Betty Ford Center, the fascinating Reese Witherspoon arrest footage has been unearthed, and Lance Bass thinks that someone in One Direction is gay.

After a dramatic day of driving up to a rehab facility only to drive away to an electronics store for some reason, and narrowly dodging an arrest warrant somewhere in there, Lindsay Lohan is safely checked into the Betty Ford Center to fulfill her court-required 90-day stay in rehab. It was 24 hours or so of drama, but the court has approved Betty Ford as an acceptable facility and so there she will stay. In theory. I mean, who knows with this one. She could be making an escape rope out of bedsheets as we speak, or digging a tunnel through a wall with a stolen spoon. Or, y'know, she could be just walking out the front door and no one is stopping her because it doesn't really seem like anyone tries to stop her, ever. So it's very possible she's just strolling out the front door, down the breezeway, into a car and zooming off back to the Chateau Marmont, which has forgiven her bill, probably, and will welcome her with open arms. No one really seems that interested in stopping Lindsay Lohan, so why bother giving her any rules at all? Just let the kid do what she wants. Who cares. So what. [TMZ, TMZ]

Well, this was inevitable. TMZ has gotten its hands on the dash cam footage of Reese Witherspoon's Atlanta arrest, with full audio and everything. I'm sure she is mortified, and she is behaving stupidly in the video, but I dunno. It's kinda great, too. I mean, it's bad that her husband was driving drunk and it's dumb that she behaved like that to a police officer, but if you strip away the context, it's pretty great. She's a spitfire, that one! All this talk of being an American and her rights and justice and all this stuff. It's fun. I mean, Mel Gibson gets arrested and he's spewing out all kinds of horrible things within two seconds. But all Reese Witherspoon really does is say silly things about being an American and hilariously lie about being pregnant. That's pretty harmless, ultimately. I'm sure she disagrees. Oh well. [TMZ]

Lance Bass, gay former 'N Sync member, says that probably one of the One Direction guys is gay. Probably. "Statistically" he says. "If you took one of these One Direction kids, because they basically are kids, my guess is one of them is gay," he said in a recent interview. Which... I don't know. What to think about this? On the one hand, you think, reeeally? Which one do you think, Lance?? But on the other, you think, right. They're kids. And you of all people should know that publicly scrutinizing them and saying that their coming out could ruin the band's career is maybe not the coolest thing to do, Lance. Right? It's halfway an interesting thing to say and halfway an awful thing. "Well, statistically speaking, one probably is," he said. Which, statistically speaking, is wrong, Lance. Yeah, I think this was a jerky thing to say. Even as someone who has made a Larry Stylinson joke or a billion in his day. Not good, Lancelot. Not good. [Daily Mail]

Oh ho ho. Look who's too big for Broadway all of a sudden. Now that it's been announced that Bradley Cooper will be playing the titular character in Steven Spielberg's biopic American Sniper, it seems that Cooper's plans to star in The Elephant Man on Broadway could be on indefinite hold. Cooper played the part out in Williamstown a summer or two ago and seemed determined to bring the show to New York, perhaps to prove his bonafides as an actor. But now that Silver Linings has done that for him, and he's got this big Spielberg movie, I guess he doesn't think he needs the theater anymore. How quickly they leave you, Lady Melpomene. It's a story as old as time. Theater is the first to go. Then it's New York. Then it's the old friends. Then it's a few family members. And before you know it the movie star standing before you in no way resembles the person you used to have drinks with at Angus after a show. That person died many years and many successes ago. Oh Bradley. Might you have been different. [Page Six]

There was a very exclusive, star-studded post-Great Gatsby premiere party in New York on Wednesday night. Hosted by Leo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire and attended by Baz Luhrmann, Jay-Z, Carey Mulligan, Jamie Foxx, Amanda Seyfried, Jake Gyllenhaal, Florence Welch, Lil Jon, and Gayle King for some reason, the do started at The Darby on West 14th Street, where guests watched a show and drank fancy drinks. At one point Florence Welch got up and danced on a banquette when her Gatsby soundtrack song came on. Which is sort of tacky, Florence. I'm sure the Machine is embarrassed. Then the affair moved to 1Oak, as it always does, where Leo, Tobes, and Jakey held court until four in the morning. What an evening! Imagine being one of their guests, everyone basking in their collective wealth and fame, all masters and mistresses of the universe. While the rest of us stumbled around our squalid junkpails and blubbered out sad greasy poor people tears, alone and awful in obscurity. What would Fitzgerald say about all of this? Probably something like "Go to bed, Zelda!" [Page Six]

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.