Johnny Depp Mustn't Sing Again

Today in show business news: Johnny Depp might be appearing in Into the Woods, The CW spins off more vampires, and Kristen Wiig returns to SNL.

This article is from the archive of our partner .

There's a rumor, a terrible rumor, afoot that Johnny Depp, onetime actor turned living cartoon, will be appearing in director Rob Marshall's upcoming movie adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods. Playing who, well, we don't know that, but no matter what role he's in, this is a bad idea. Because the presence of Johnny Depp likely means we're going to be getting something silly. And while Into the Woods is funny, it is not Johnny Depp funny. Like it's not weird makeup steampunk Tim Burtonized funny. It just indicates that Marshall might be taking this movie in the wrong direction — I mean, these days Johnny Depp also means lots of special effects. Which... no. I know that Depp did a good enough job in the actually not terrible Sweeney Todd, but that does not mean that he should be given another musical. I mean, what does Sondheim think of this? I'm sure he's OK with Meryl Streep as the witch (oh, yeah, that's supposedly happening, too) but I wonder how this news makes Sondheim feel. Maybe he thinks it's great. Who knows. I just know that I don't like it. Not one bit! Don't do this, Marshall. Into the Woods is the best and does not deserve to be ruiend by some dopey movie. Rethink all of this, please. [The Hollywood Reporter]

NBC has renewed a bunch of shows, because what were they gonna do? They need shows. So, Revolution gets a season two, as does Fire Hunks. Plus more SVU (yay!) and Grimm (eh) and Parenthood (I'm sure many will be evangelically happy about that). So, good for those shows! This doesn't mean that NBC isn't a barren hellscape of despair and misery, but at least a few shows get to keep the lights on for now. [Deadline]

Meanwhile over at The CW, they've renewed the first-season show Beauty and the Beast as well as Hart of Dixie, a show that has managed to chug along respectably despite the odd fact that not a single person in the world has ever seen an episode of it. Nope, not a single one. Strange, huh? The world is weird! The other big CW news is that they've ordered the Vampire Diaries spinoff The Originals to series. So Klaus and all them are headed to New Orleans, where more vampire-y things will happen. Like Angel before it, basically. I'm sure the worlds will collide on occasion and there will be crossovers, but for the most part it means that Klaus is gone from the land of Vampire Diaries. So, say goodbye. Goodbye, Klaus! Goodbye. Be well. It was nice knowing you. [Entertainment Weekly]

Kristen Wiig is going to host the May 11 episode of Saturday Night Live a little less than a year after leaving the show. That's pretty quick turnaround time! Usually I fee like it takes a couple years, but I guess she made it big pretty quick so it's justified. That should be fun! I mean, it'll be a night of seeing all the old characters like little hands lady and the excited lady and stuff, but that's fine. Those are fun. Yay. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Here is a new trailer for Red 2: Even Older. They're even older, plus Sir Anthony Hopkins and Dame Catherine Zeta-Jones are in on the game this time. The first Red was great! So maybe this one will be, too? You know, how sequels that just add a bunch of new stars are always great? Excellent.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.