Sarah Palin's Holiday Nightmare Will Be a Christmas Classic

Today in entertainment news: The former VP candidate is writing a war-on-Christmas book, The Bible is still a big hit, and David O. Russell's mega-cast movie looks destined for Oscar season.

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Though she was supposed to be president by now, two-year governor of Alaska Sarah Palin will have to settle for writing books that likely millions of people will buy. Her next one will be a holiday book called A Happy Holiday IS a Merry Christmas, which is about the "over-commercialism" and "homogenization" of the Christmas holiday. Y'see, as Palin explains it, the book "will encourage all to see what is possible when we unite in defense of our faith and ignore the politically correct Scrooges who would rather take Christ out of Christmas." Aha. What Sarah is saying here is that because some people say that we should include all winter holidays when we say things like "the holidays" and "Happy Holidays," we are taking the Christ out of Christmas. Also by making secular Christmas movies about Santa Claus and Will Ferrell elves and whatever else, we are forgetting the true meaning of the holiday, which of course is a reappropriated Roman solstice celebration. So that's what Palin wants to get back to, I think. And she's right, too. Christmas is a dying holiday in this country, as radio stations devote themselves to nothing but Hanukkah songs for the month of December and every TV show has a special Saturnalia-themed episode. It's a scary, scary thing. The book will feature her arguments on this matter, plus stories from Palin's own family Christmases, which of course are usually spent bathed in a wolf's blood, examining its organs to divine information about the coming year. Can't wait to read all about it! [The Hollywood Reporter]

While on the topic of very particular and accurate religious texts, The History Channel's dramatic miniseries The Bible scored high ratings in its second week, airing to 10.8 million people on Sunday. That's down 18 percent down from its first week, but that was probably to be expected. Some people were just tuning in for the dinosaurs, and that part's over now. Plus Sunday night's episode was just a bunch of Old Testament stuff, like Samson and Delilah and King David and all that. Next week is when Jesus shows up, so things are really going to get good. Dany will still be across the Narrow Sea with her dragons and Sirius is still in Azkaban, but at least Jesus is around to help save Middle Earth. Should be exciting! [Entertainment Weekly]

Speaking of enchanting stories, actor Bendlybitch Cummerbunds has confirmed that not only is the third season of his BBC show Sherlock currently in production, but that there are plans for a fourth season as well. Oh how exciting! Everyone loves Sherlock. Martin Freeman is great as Watson, of course, but really it's all about Bindlysticks Cubberthatch as Holmes. He's very good, that Bandikit Crumblybum. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Cumberbatch's (no, that's not right...) costar in Star Trek: Into Darkness, Karl Urban, who of course plays Uhura in the movie franchise, has just been cast on his director J.J. Abrams's new Fox show about android cops in the future. He'll be playing a regular cop on the show, alongside Minka Kelly and Lili Taylor. Though, actually, it's not clear if Lili Taylor is playing a human. She probably isn't, come to think of it. I mean, it's Lili Taylor. Anyway, Urban will specifically be playing "a respected police officer who has shut down emotionally after a tragic mission left him critically injured." Shut down emotionally? Just like an android! Is that the metaphor? Please tell me that's the metaphor or the hook or whatever. Just as annoying people say "See, on The Walking Dead the living are the real walking dead" (and yes, I'm counting you in that category, Kirkman), you could say about this show, "Who's the real android??" Done. We've figured out the series. Good for us. [Deadline]

Cue up the Oscar machine, David O. Russell is coming back to town. The sudden Academy darling's next movie will be coming out in December, it's been announced. This is the one about the ABSCAM sting operation that's going to star Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Louis C.K., and (just announced today) Alessandro Nivola. So someone's gotta be winning an Oscar out of that group, right? I mean, that's a ridiculous cast right there. Best Supporting Actor for Jeremy Renner? That could be it. Or maybe Amy Adams finally gets her Oscar on her fifth nomination. It's never too soon to start predicting! And these days if David O. Russell is in charge of a movie, it's worth betting on for something. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Cate Blanchett will be starring in an HBO movie based on the memoir Cancer Vixen, about a New Yorker cartoonist (among other things) who finds out just before her wedding that she has breast cancer. Sounds cheery! But really, we should be excited for anything that Cate Blanchett is going to be in, sad or not. She's been absent for a little while, so it will be nice to have her back. We've also got her role in The Monuments Men to look forward to, as well as the Kenneth Branagh Cinderella movie, whenever that happens. Cate Blanchett as the Wicked Stepmother will be quite something. No David O. Russell move, of course. But something. [Deadline]

Quick! Dermot Mulroney : Dylan McDermott :: Mandy Moore : ______??? Did you say Kristen Schaal?? Because that is the right answer. Yes, they are basically synonymous, are they not? ABC sure seems to think so, as Schaal has just replaced Moore on the pilot Pulling. Well, OK, it seems that Moore was replaced because the writers wanted to go in a "different" direction, but you have to admit that it makes total sense for Mandy Moore and Kristen Schaal to be at different points cast in the same role, doesn't it? Totally natural swap-out there. Schaal will be joining Jenny Slate and June Diane Raphael on the show, so this could be pretty funny. Meanwhile, poor Mandy Moore. That's two bum pilot seasons in a row for her. And, I mean, we probably shouldn't expect Love, Wedding, Marriage 2 or I Told You So, Again anytime soon, should we? Tough times. [Vulture]

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.