Kate Upton's Boobs Are Too Busy for This Kid's Prom Proposal

Today in viral videos: We applaud one young man's legendary YouTube plea to the deity that is Kate Upton, the lowdown on the microbes all over your body, and an exit strategy in case everything doesn't work out.

We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cellphone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:

So, after all that back and forth over the viral prom proposal that a not-so-viral (but still positive!) response, 20-year-old supermodel Kate Upton will not be going to prom with 17-year-old Jake Davidson. Ah, scheduling, Alas, more than two million YouTube plays later, Jake's legendary effort is worth appreciating once more:

Microbes are all over your body. Trillions of them. Resistance is futile. So is hand sanitizer. But here's a video that will make you feel slightly better:

If life just doesn't work out for us, or your job doesn't work out for you, "tambourine man" would be an excellent addition to your resumé:

And finally, this is Florida: