Welcome to the Box Office Report, where we've been crushing on hot zombies since before it was cool. (Hi, again, hot zombie from last Halloween.)
1. Warm Bodies (Summit): $19.5 million in 3,009 theaters
This delightful little alterna-date movie is a welcome change from the dreck that's been populating the top of the box office the last two weeks. January is such a dark time at the movies. Hears to a slightly better February, no?
2. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (Paramount): $9.2 million in 3,375 theaters [Week 2]
Because writing about this movie will only depress me, The Box Office report would like to take this opportunity to implore that you see Gangster Squad. It's a hilariously shallow and formulaic crime movie starring a bunch of beautiful people. It's wonderful. The male characters' only reaction when angered is to hit things. At one point, a character dies and Josh Brolin informs the family. The son, scrunching his nose on the porch because complicated feelings, erupts and pushes over his bicycle. Then they share an aggressive, manly-man hug. It's the best sight gag you'll see in a movie this year. We howled with laughter.
3. Silver Linings Playbook (Weinstein Company): $8.1 million in 2,809 theaters [Week 3]
At some point Jennifer Lawrence will become the most GIFed actress working today. Fact.
4. Mama (Universal): $6.7 million in 2,781 theaters [Week 3]
With a total domestic take of $58.3 million, this is now the highest grossing horror movie since Paranormal Activity 3. Seriously. This piece of crap. Think about your life, America. Think about your choices. Three horror movies were released this week that are probably better than this.
5. Zero Dark Thirty (Sony): $5.3 million in 2,871 theaters [Week 4]
Also: Bullet to the Head -- the new Stallone movie -- scored his lowest opening since 1981's Nighthawks. No, The Box Office Report had never heard of Nighthawks before today either. Bullet didn't even crack the top five.