This just might be the worst movie weekend of the year. It being Friday, we'd normally have a movie review or two up for you to read, but the already reviled Movie 43 didn't screen for critics, and we just couldn't bring ourselves to slouch over to Parker or Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. Those are the three major offerings debuting today, sending us glumly into a bleak weekend. But don't despair! There's plenty else you can do to entertain yourself between now and the next time you work, so let's take a look at some of your options.
Catch up on awards movies. Do you have annoying friends who have been constantly nattering on about Zero Dark this and Amour that since basically the summer ended? You know, those awards show-obsessed people who print out ballots and have viewing parties with themed food ("Life of Pineapple Upside-Down Cake," etc.) and have seemingly seen everything and you have no idea where they find the time? Well, maybe this weekend you can find the time. So you won't feel so left out for the next month, you could go see a big Oscar movie or two. Invest the three hours in the eyeball-itching Zero Dark Thirty, suffer through the grim beauty of Amour. Hell, go see Les Misérables! Or find one of those cheaper second-run theaters that's still playing Argo or even Beasts of the Southern Wild. (Which might actually be on demand? Worth looking into. To that end, here is a list of how to see every Oscar-nominated film. If you can't figure it out with that, then you're hopeless.) That way you'll at least have some idea of just what the hell your awful friends are talking about when they scream things at the Screen Actors Guild Awards on Sunday night.