Today in celebrity gossip news: January Jones' hair is falling out, Chris Brown has his own version of events, and John Mayer is romantically linked to someone new, maybe.
Oh dear. January Jones, star of Mad Men and thespian of X-Men: First Class and Unknown, among other thrilling fare, says that her hair is falling out. And not just falling out, but falling out "in clumps." Yes, it seems that she's dyed it and otherwise played with it so much recently that it is now rejecting her scalp and fleeing the premises. "I’m going to have to shave it off and wear a wig," she joked, but also let's hope she's not really joking. Let's really hope that she decides to start all over again, shave her head and wear a wig, like a common Roald Dahl witch. Wouldn't it be fun to see January Jones in a series of strange wigs? Or not even strange wigs, just regular wigs. Basically it'd be fun to see January Jones in any kind of wig for a while. "Oh there's January Jones, in her known wig," people would say. Because everyone would know it was a wig, 'cause she said it was. "Her hair was falling out," one person would say. "In clumps!" another would chime in. And then we'd all nod at her wig. Oh, please let that happen, dear lord. By which I mean Chris Brown, to whom I pray because he is basically a synonym for Jesus. Please let January Jones decide that wearing a wig is the way. It must and should happen. [People]
You all have been so quick to judge singer Chris Brown about his latest maybe-altercation with singer Frank Ocean. It's as if you have some sort of past knowledge with which to frame this current incident. But oh well, the truth is that Chris Brown is blameless in this matter. Brown, in fact, wants to talk to the police, because he believes there is video of the fight — had with Ocean and his crew in the parking lot and lobby of a recording studio — that will clear his name. Apparently the video shows him not throwing a single punch. Same for Ocean. It's their crews that really mixed it up, though who threw the first punch is still a matter up for debate. But the point is, Chris Brown did nothing wrong. And you should believe him when he says that, because, again, innocent as he is, there really is no reason to ever suspect that Chris Brown might act violently. Chris Brown feels so passionate about his innocence that he posted a drawing on Instagram of Jesus on the cross and wrote, "Painting the way I feel today." So, hm. Was he saying that the painting was how he felt, of that he was actually doing some painting, to get out his feelings? Let's really hope it was the latter, huh? It'd be nice to think he was expressing himself through painting. But whatever the case may be, the point is simple: Though Ocean is pressing charges, Chris Brown had nothing to do with this. And he wants to talk to police so he can prove that to be the case and he can stop being crucified. Because if there's one thing that's exactly like what Jesus went through, it's being accused of participating in a brawl outside a recording studio. Too bad, in Jesus's case, that there weren't surveillance cameras. [TMZ; Us Weekly]