TLDR Will Be Replaced With TSDR. Everyone will crave lengthy, well-crafted long reads, and if a piece isn't long enough, snarky commenters will rail upon it with their ironic initialism, TSDR. Fine, fine, we're just pipe-dreaming, but whatever. Could happen! Also, everyone will want to pay for content! And Worst Word Lists will be retired and replaced with lists of Words We Love. Maybe.
Vampires Will Go on Sabbatical. With the end of Twilight, normal people in real-world interesting scenarios will be suddenly be all the rage. You know, people like Kristen Stewart and Edward Cullen. Or, um, Kate Winslet and that Rocknroll person. Or maybe mermaids. Whatever it is, we're taking a quick break from the bloodsuckers.
A Decision About Girls Will Finally Be Made. We're only about a week away from the season two premiere of HBO's controversial, blog-fodder television show. Is it smart and funny or clueless and ignorant of its own privilege? Too much bad sex or an accurate depiction of twentysomething coupling? A bunch of spoiled actors from rich backgrounds or a talented new crop of up and comers? Whatever the answers to these questions are, we will get them this year. Won't we? Please, won't we? The conversation can't possibly go on much longer than it already has. Though, to be honest, it's so easy to help perpetuate. Like, right now. But we'll stop someday soon. We've got to.
We'll All Get a Little Slower and a Little Smarter. How many people got busted for Tweeting incorrect (sometimes purposely, sometimes accidentally) information last year, sending it out to infect the public much like a person who refused to cover her mouth with a hand when she sneezes? How many people went one worse, actually plagiarizing or fabricating information in articles, books, or Tweets, and pretending that it was true? Perhaps we can't do much for the people who do these journalistically terrible things, but we can do something about that rush to be first and what it means for everyone. Take a breath, check your sources, make sure what your saying is accurate, or at the very least, add a disclaimer notifying readers to the opposite. It's the least we can do, and it's better for everyone, except people who want to spread lies.
Coffee Will Be Supplanted by Herbal Tea. Ha ha ha, no, not really. We will also stop trying to make cheap caffeine-related jokes that aren't even funny.
No More Ke$ha. This might not actually be all that likely to happen in 2013, what with her popular new album and all that, but we sure wouldn't mind if this faux-rebellious pop brat faded away sooner rather than later. Admit it, you'd enjoy the peace and quiet, wouldn't you? Let's make this happen this year. We've already had enough Ke$ha for many a noisy lifetime.
Corgis Will Be Out, and Something Else In. Corgis no longer be the self-described cutest animal of the Internet. Nope. This year it's all about babies. Or baby goats. Or babies dressed as baby goats and corgis. Or, fine, just baby goats. They're really cute.