Lindsay Lohan at the Scene of the Crime

Today in celebrity gossip: Lindsay Lohan can't stay away from the club where she got arrested, Anne Hathaway has an "upskirt" moment, and Russell Crowe has a bizarre new girlfriend.

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Ain't nobody can keep a Lohan down. Or at least Lindsay Lohan. It's very likely that some authorities could, at some point, keep Michael or Dina Lohan down. Anyway, despite the fact that she was arrested for punching a psychic at the New York City nightclub Avenue not too long ago, the Herbie Fully Loaded actress reappeared at the same club last night. Yeah, she decided it had been long enough and she'd processed stuff well enough that she could return to that cursed place and have a grand old time once more. And it seems that's just what she did — no punching, no fighting, maybe no swearing, even. So, good for her, I guess? That might have taken some restraint. But of course it make sense, Lindsay wanting to go back to that very place. Those of you outside the city might not know that New York only has three nightclubs. There's Punch Psychic, there's the one where Chris Brown threw bottles, and then there's Bungalow 8. That's it. They are all located on Nightclub Row and they are the only game in town. The rest of the city is churches and sandwich shoppes. So it makes sense that Lohan would want to go back to Punch Psychic/Avenue because where else was she going to go? You need a key for Bungalow 8, and the Chris Brown club is still littered with glass. This was the only option. So she wasn't being brazen, she was just being practical. Good for her. [TMZ]

Meanwhile, big-featured menace Anne Hathaway continues her reign of terrible terror. The Les Misérables actress was at the New York premiere of her new musical opus last night and, when getting out of the car in a strange steampunk dress, flashed a bit of her unparticulars to cameramen. Yes, it seems that Anne Hathaway wasn't wearing underpants at her premiere and so several photographers saw her thermopolis. Which, gross. Not the anatomy, that's not what's gross, what's gross is that we're talking about this at all. Who cares? So what? Her weird dress probably looked better without underpants and so she didn't wear underpants. Not a big deal. And yet, because there are more photographers than people these days, it's a splashy news item because some sweaty middle-aged men snapped a glimpse of her enchanted Ella. Humanity has become gross, everyone. Very, very gross. I mean does anyone even want to see or hear about Anne Hathaway's accidental upskirt? I just don't know that they do. Let's let her continue on with her short hair and her husband and her dog and whatever else she does and do what decent people do, which is dislike Anne Hathaway from afar because she seems like an annoying theater kid, not whisper and tee-hee about some dress accident that was only an accident because some bozos decided to photograph it. Let Anne Hathaway wear her dang dress, guys. Everyone deserves at least that. [Us Weekly]

Here's something we can judge: Russell Crowe, professional telephone-thrower, was seen having up-close flirty fireside chat with none other than Katie Lee (Joel) at a New York hotel very early Sunday morning. Yes, 48-year-old Crowe and 31-year-old Lee were sitting by the fireplace at the Greenwich Hotel at about 3 a.m., giggling and pulling each other's fingers and farting and stuff. Or not that maybe, but they were doing some kind of flirting. And they were seen in the same place later that afternoon, meaning somebody stayed the night. So Katie Lee is maybe in some kind of romance with Russell Crowe, which likely means that Russell Crowe will soon start to crash his car into houses and Bravo will call Katie Lee and say, "You're still fired from Top Chef" — and they'll say it just to be mean. The great world keeps turning, doesn't it? And, really, who are these people harming with their love? No one. They're fine. I mean, it's weird, but they're fine. It's deeply weird, but it's OK. Keep on keepin' on, weirdos. Enjoy that fireplace. [Page Six]

Oh, hey, speaking of Top Chef, here's Padma Lakshmi in a bikini. Yes, Katie Lee's host replacement recently wore a bikini, covering only her most important areas, and a photographer took pictures of it. Do you think that when, like over a hundred years ago, families posed for their one portrait, the only photograph they'd ever be in in their lives, or people took pictures of the dead in their coffins so folks could remember what they looked like, that they had any inkling of an idea that it would someday lead to pictures of Padma Lakshmi in her bikini in Miami? I'm sure one of them did. Go sift through all those old photos and find me the boy with a flicker or a gleam in his eye. That lad knew, he knew so hard he could almost see it. Everyone else just sat there in their sepia-tone clothes and stared off into the grainy abyss, but that one boy, oh he knew down to his knickers. Someday there'd be Padma, in a fringe bikini, there in the warm glow of farthest Florida. What a vision for that kid. What a future awaited the world. [Daily Mail]

Loved/reviled television show writer Lena Dunham was recently spotted out with her boyfriend, the guitarist from the theater geek revival band fun.. There are two periods there for a reason, because the band's name is fun., lowercase like that, with the period. Some might choose to simply call it Fun, but that is wrong. It's fun., and there are no two bones about it. Anyway, Lena and fun. were out smoochin' at some place in L.A., because I guess Lena Dunham spends time in L.A. now when she isn't filming her show, because that's where everyone ends up eventually in this mean old world, it seems. They ate some food at Kings Road Cafe and then kissed outside. That's what happened with them. Sounds like fun.! Haha. fun. What a silly thing. [Page Six]

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