Robert De Niro Chews Out Jay-Z

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Whoa, trouble in TriBeCa! It seems that the tony downtown Manhattan neighborhood's two most famous residents, The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle actor Robert De Niro and Beyoncé's husband Jay-Z, recently had something of a public spat. Well, it was actually more one-sided than a spat, as De Niro did most of the talking, scolding Jay for not returning his calls. The two were at Leonardo DiCaprio's recent birthday party, and Jay went up to pay his respects to the don, but when he got there De Niro lit into him, saying that Jay was rude and disrespectful for failing to return six of his calls and dropping the ball on recording a song for the TriBeCa Film Festival that he had agreed to do. Jay-Z tried to ease the tension with a joke, saying he's terrible with the phone, but Bob wasn't having any of it. He didn't even calm down when Beyoncé came over and tried to break the tension. (One hopes she walked over and started singing that "Make love to me" song or began furiously doing the "Single Ladies" dance to no avail.) De Niro had an angry point to make and he was going to make it. All the other guests at the party were talking about it, apparently, causing DiCaprio to sit sullenly at a table by himself, pointy party hat drooping down, frowning and muttering about "that stupid old man ruining my party." A Page Six source says that De Niro "thinks [Jay-Z is] the man, but that he was disrespectful." Which, ugh, "the man"? Really, source? It is not 2002. No one says "the man" anymore, and I doubt Robert De Niro ever said it. That's really the most shocking thing about this story. "The man." Ridiculous. Anyway, some person close to De Niro told Page Six that it was just a "low-key private conversation between two people" and was not "a heated discussion." So maybe everything was fine. Though, after De Niro was done, Jay-Z was seen leaving in tears, with Beyoncé apologizing to all the guests and saying her husband was just a little tired. DiCaprio then asked that his piñata be brought out in the hopes that all that precious candy would help everyone forget about the big fight. Sadly, it did not, and his party was, in fact, ruined. [Page Six]

Aw. Reese Witherspoon stepped out recently in tight pants and smart heels to go meet her husband Jim Toth at his office for lunch. Just a little afternooner for the parents of a newborn baby. Which is nice. Good for them. Doing normal things. And those shoes really are great. I guess the point of this Us Weekly article (article seems like a strong word, but whatever) is that we can see Reese with her post-baby figure, but good grief who cares about that. What I found most useful about this little piece is that it links to another post about Witherspoon and Toth in which we see photos of the couple at Reese's son Deacon's soccer game with the kid's dad, Ryan Phillippe. There's a photo of Ryan and Jim shaking hands in a bro way that's rather fascinating, and then there's the crown jewel: A photo of Reese and Jim sitting in folding chairs on the sidelines with all their supplies, while Ryan simply kneels on the ground. No chair for Ryan. Didn't think to bring one and his ex-wife and her husband aren't going to bring one for him. But he's not going to stand the whole time, weird to not be at their level, so he's kneeling, on the dirt and grass. It's pretty interesting. Tells a pretty good story. For me, anyway. Weird old me. But maybe you find it fascinating too, this little detail of a blended family. Anyway. That's all. [Us Weekly]

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Oh for heaven's sake. American barf-goat Michael Lohan went on some really fake-looking talk show recently with a lady and her teenage daughter and was told in no uncertain terms, in scientific terms, that he is the girl's father. He apparently did sex with her mom back in the mid-'90s and then this child was born and now a British lady who just brought her talk show across the pond has told him that the child is his. So Lindsay Lohan and Ally Lohan and Rudiger Lohan and Bruce-Bruce Lohan and whoever else is there lurking in those Long Island shadows have a new half-sister. Isn't that a good story, America? Aren't we pleased to know that? Good for Michael Lohan. Ugh. Bury it all in a garbage heap out by the highway. Just bury it all. The whole thing. Who can manage this world anymore. Look at Michael Lohan's face. And look how he's always wearing turtlenecks. Man, if he's not both the bang and the whimper I dunno what is. See you all in Elysium, very soon I suspect. [TMZ]

Ohh, last night was the London premiere of Twilight 5: Bodacious Bella's Big-Ass Baby, and stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were of course the main attraction on the red carpet. And boy-o was Stewart wearing an interesting outfit. It was a pantsuit jumper kind of a thing, a lace catsuit one might call it, and it was very see-through and very strange. I get that Stewart has this whole sexy/elegant vaguely gothic look going and I respect it, but this is perhaps a lace catsuit too far. It's a little much. For his part, Pattinson is in something of an oddly fitting suit, but it's not as egregious as what his lady love is sporting. I respect her for taking risks and for being comfortable doing the whole sexy thing in light of all that shaming she endured for a youthful indiscretion, but this one doesn't quite land. There's baroque temptress and then there's what Madam Suzette wore to a New Year's Eve 1982 party. And I'm afraid this one is the latter. But, hey, take a look for yourself. [Us Weekly]

Ha, in light of baloney golem Channing Tatum winning the Sexiest Man Alive prize from People Illustrated, the ever-eager to market themselves has looked up Tatum's great-great-great-grampa, found a photo of him, and declared him sexy. Or, more realistically, they looked into his family history and went as far back as they needed to to find a looker. And he is a looker, this Confederate soldier named John A. Ross. I mean, he doesn't have the meaty charisma of Mr. Tatum, but there's definitely something there. Clever thinking, They really are good with this stuff, I must say. And as for-pay websites go, it provides an actually cool and interesting service. In fact, I think you should go register for right now. At a low $12.95 per month when you sign up for a six-month membership, you practically can't afford not to. Your discovery starts right now. (Is that what ya wanted, ya jerks? Well, there, ya got it.) [Page Six]

Finally, good morning, Ryan Lochte. [People]

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.