Today in celebrity gossip: The bonny prince of Alaska has taken a bride, some celebrities are tweeting about Hurricane Sandy, and the Kardashians might be name thieves.
Ding dong, bing bong, bing bong, ding dong. That's both the sound of wedding bells and the refrain that plays in Alaskan oaf Levi Johnston's head at all times. Especially this weekend, when he married his girlfriend Sunny Oglesby in what was likely a fabulous and festive ceremony. Yes, Johnston, father of the baby Tripp Palin and also the baby Breeze Beretta, has, at 22, taken a wife. Oglesby is a teacher, which is a nice step up from Bristol Palin, daughter of Sarah, who only makes a crude "X" when asked to sign her name on Dancing With the Stars contracts. Maybe Oglesby can one day teach Johnston his numbers. Though, let's not go calling Oglesby a wise old owl just yet. TMZ has a copy of the wedding invitation and there is a word called "Famalies" on it as well as the phrase "as we join marriage." Join marriage with what?? And how? With glue? It's unclear. So that wedding invitation is pretty exciting, as is this quote from Johnston about Oglesby and their daughter Breeze Beretta: "There was a time we went to the cabin and forgot the birth control pills, and a month later we found out we were having a baby." Which... Uh. "Forgot the birth control pills"? What does that mean, in that context, exactly? This sounds a bit like Rush Limbaugh thinking that the more birth control pills you take the more not-pregnanter you get. It's not like a girl takes a birth control pill before she has sex and then doesn't get pregnant. It's not an ingestible condom, ya dummy. So just say you didn't want to wear a condom when you were up in the cabin that one time and oh well. Also it's sort of OK to be like "Ooops, we made a mistake" about the first unwanted teen pregnancy, but the second one is totally on you, guys. I mean come on. [Us Weekly; TMZ]
Scared about big bad Hurricane Sandy currently making her windy way to these eastern shores of ours? Well fear no longer, because celebrity tweets are here to calm you down. I mean, don't you feel better knowing that both Kim and Khloe Kardashian are praying for you? Because they are. Twitter said so. And really you shouldn't be freaking out anyway, because Lindsay Lohan says you shouldn't: "WHY is everyone in SUCH a panic about hurricane (i'm calling it Sally)..? Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace" Oh OK, thanks Linds. That helps. Also you can't just call it Sally. Its name is Sandy. You don't get to call it Sally just because you want to. That's not how it works. That's not how the world works. Anyway. Other celebrities are tweeting about the hurricane too, so you should probably check them out. This is important stuff here, you guys. Big, important stuff. [Us Weekly]