Today in celebrity news: J&J will be tying the knot in Italy any moment now, someone's scolding Lena Dunham for something once again, and Uma Thurman gave her daughter a crazy name.
Oh mio dio! Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are currently in Italy preparing to get married. Why, just last night they had a big pre-wedding beach party dinner at a resort place along the Adriatic for all or most of the intended guests, including Andy Samberg, who was photographed chatting with guests looking like just a regular dude. Supposedly this resort, near Cala Masciola beach, is where the two are going to be wed any day now, though, you might be saying, the Adriatic? Cala Masciola? That's in Puglia, not Naples. I know, I know, but see, Page Six is saying that the wedding is happening in a small town "just outside Naples, Italy." So, who are we to believe? Us Weekly or Page Six? The present or the, let's be honest, just-slightly-past? Ultimately it doesn't really matter, the point is the couple is going to be wed in southern Italy literally any minute now and then, what, what will happen? Not much I guess. Two beautiful people will begin a beautiful life together. Maybe Jessica will convince Justin to rid himself of these foolish movie star dreams and go back to music. And Justin will convince Jessica to rid herself of these foolish movie star dreams and, I don't know, go back to Tufts? Go back to TV? It's hard to say with her. The point is, hopefully they will be good for each other. And because they are getting married in Italy, it means they can never divorce. Sure, sure, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were married in Italy and they divorced, but this sacred rule only counts when both parties are Earth humans, so. Anyway, congrats to the happy couple, who could be married right now for all we know. If I remembered more of the six years of Italian I studied in school, I'd say something nice for ya, but I don't, that's why I'm writing gossip things instead of, I dunno, sippin' a cappuccino at my exotic job in Rome, I guess. Oh well. Buona fortuna. There's one. [Us Weekly; Page Six]
Uh oh, Girls creator and star Lena Dunham has gotten herself into a lick of trouble with those pesky Canadians. It seems she recently tweeted a joke about wanting her Halloween costume to be, with two other people, Canadian killer Paul Bernardo, his murderous bride Karla Homolka, and one of their victims, Karla's sister. Well, that joke didn't sit too kindly with Dunham's fans to the north, so now she's taken to Twitter to apologize for her insensitive joke amid the uproar. The thing is, this wasn't like an independent Tweet sent out to everyone. She was responding to two friends (The Office's Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak), so it wasn't exactly private, of course, but it wasn't like she was trying to make some for-everyone joke. It's different all the way up there where everyone can see you, I guess. Probably a joke best reserved for IRL time. Still, let's please stop obsessively finding ways to criticize this girl. It's starting to get weird. I know she's successful and does a lot — writing, directing, acting — and she seems to roll with a cool crowd and that's mind boggling because she's Just A Girl, so we should find out what's wrong with her, but c'mon, it's getting creepy. I have as many mixed emotions about her fabulous success as any other person who would like their own fabulous success, but let's all ease up, huh? We're beginning to seem completely intolerant of a young woman existing as herself in the public forum, scolding her every time she makes a joke we don't like, etc. Not good, guys. Not good. [Vancouver Sun]