Today in showbiz news: Fox has plans to turn Charlie Brown and friends into big-screen movie stars, Kris Jenner wants her own show, and two funny ladies just got their own show.
Oh good. Twentieth Century Fox and the animation studio behind the interminable Ice Age series (ughhhh) have secured the rights to Charles M. Schulz's iconic comic/cartoon franchise Peanuts, with plans to release a major motion picture in 2015. Now, Blue Sky Studios, the animation house, has only ever done computer-animated films. So that leads me to believe that we're talking about a computer-animated Charlie Brown. Which is absolute sacrilege and should not be allowed. I know, I know, computer animation is the wave of the future -- not even the future, the present -- and there have been some beautiful computer-animated movies in the past. But that's just it. Peanuts isn't beautiful, it's scrappy and simple and a little messy. That's part of the whole charm. You cannot do Charlie Brown with computers because that is too sleek and cold and mechanical. No, nope, no thanks. I could be wrong, there is no actual mention of this being a computer animated movie, but this is the studio that adapted Horton Hears a Who! into a computer animated movie, so I see no reason to think this will be any different. This is not good. And this isn't age or grumpiness talking, this is an appreciation for art. No Charlie Brown on computers! And please god, if they say one "snarky" thing or make a reference to the internet... No. No no no. This must be stopped. Who's with me? [Variety]
Another abomination: Kris Jenner, the person famous for giving birth to a person who got famous for having sex, is trying to get her own daytime talk show. Yes, Mother Kardashian may get a test run on Fox affiliates starting next summer, which... ugh. What will her topics be? How to lurk behind a houseplant until one of your daughters enters the room with her reality crew and then you jump out and say "Heyyyy what's going on what are you doing huhhh let's hangggg"? How to drive around in a shopping mall parking lot in an SUV hoping someone recognizes you? I mean, what does Kris Jenner know anything about? Not much, is my guess. Not much. Oh well. Who really cares. Bring it on. I'll just be in this ditch eating cheese. [The Hollywood Reporter]