The First Couple of 'Twilight' Together Again

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Today in celebrity news: Filmdom's finest couple have reunited personally now they will reunite professionally, Kate Middleton braves the paparazzi once more, and Kim Kardashian has an awkward run-in. 

Now that they are gloriously reunited as personal lovers, actors Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, who had a spectacular breakup this summer only to mend things by autumn, will be doing press together to promote their last vampire romance effort, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2. They'll be starting their grand publicity tour on October 28th in Los Angeles and will basically continue on until the damn thing opens around Thanksgiving. So that's several weeks of answering the same questions over and over again, of the cramped quarters of the "Twilight Express!" PR tour bus (that exists, right?), and lots of awkward eyes from reporters who reeeeeally want to ask those questions but can't. Either it will be a complete catastrophe and everyone will leave miserable, or the tension and awkwardness will act as a wonderful accelerant for the flame of their passion. Can't wait to find out which! [People]

Kate Middleton has bravely made her first public appearance since the whole unseemly nude photo scandal happened, appearing at the wedding of a friend with her family in Oxfordshire. So she's blessedly done with that whole ghastly Asian tour and is back in the good land, where places end in -shire and -ham and -ex and all that civilized business. She'll be fine there. Things are different there. Everyone's dignified and refined and polite and keeps calm and carries on and all that pip-pip rubbish hooray. Sure the sight of her unmentionables is forever burned into the mind's eye of every lad from Exeter to Inverness, but that's no matter. They won't say anything, now will they? If they did they'd get a right cuffing from their mums and would be sent straight to bed without any honeyed gruel. And what good British lad would want that?? So yeah, she's back, and she won't back down. Good thing Maggie Gyllenhaal and Viola Davis made that movie about her. That's what that's about, right? [Us Weekly]

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Remember Kim Kardashian's sex tape? Hahah, of course you do, that is the only thing that people know about Kim Kardashian. "'Kim Kardashian: A Life.' One day Kim Kardashian was born somewhere to somebody and then she made a sex tape and someday she will die. The end." That's a third grader's paper on Kim Kardashian and that third grader will get an A+ because it was a very thorough look at the life and times of Kim Kardashian. So yeah, anyway, apparently she came close to running into the costar of that tape, Brandy's brother Ray J (this is how the world works), but she avoided him because how awkward would that be! This was in Miami and who talks or even thinks about sex in Miami. Best to leave that whole thing alone. Can you imagine? How untoward. In Miami. Quel scandal. Oh Kim. Ohhh Kim. [Page Six]

Haha. Arnold Schwarzenegger's new memoir Arglebargle! Austrian Noises! Arnold! or whatever it's called has completely sold out in book stores in Hyannis Port, the very seat of Kennedy power. And you know, Maria Shriver, Arnold's cuckolddress of an ex-wife, is part Kennedy, so. That's an insult to her and her family or something, that people in the town are interested in the book. But look, guys. It's October. Ain't no fancy summer folk shopping at the Beach Barnacle Bookstore or whatever. It's all townies. And townies don't know what's what, so why worry? Of course they're buying the book. That was always going to happen. If you see James Taylor holding a copy as he zooms by on the Martha's Vineyard ferry, then you should start worrying. But some local yokel buying the book and mumbling it out aloud slowly to themselves while they sit in a ditch? Piff! Pshaw. Harmless. No effect. It's fine. [TMZ]

Michael Vick, disgraced dog-fighting football player, has apparently spent $29 million in the last four years. Yup. He's filing filed for bankruptcy in 2008 and now he's coming out of it and apparently spent that much money over those four years. He spent $10 million of it on taxes, so this is basically a Mitt Romney ad, and then he had debt, and then of course he had to get all those dog skeletons off the lawn and that costs money, also there was the lawsuit settlement from the Clifford the Big Red Dog estate, the details of which he's not allowed to discuss. Plus he bought the Arnold Schwarzenegger book, so of course that cost money. So you see how it all happened. You could spend that much money in four years too. It could happen to anyone. You understand, don't you? [TMZ]

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