Today in celebrity gossip: The people of destroyed New Jersey have finally received words of comfort from those that most matter, Zac Efron had an exciting Halloween costume, and Brad Pitt gives money to the gays.
As people recover from the devastation wreaked by Hurricane Sandy, many are turning to a higher power for comfort. For many that power is God, but for some, particularly those on the especially ravaged New Jersey coastline, there is a family of supreme beings to whom all prayers are sent: The cast of Jersey Shore. And lo, the many prayers have been heard and the cast of MTV's soon-to-be-over garbage series has responded with sympathy. Radiant super-being The Snooki Monster has released a statement saying "It's devastating to see our boardwalk and favorite spots ruined." Oh no, all of their favorite spots. Where will the people dance if they don't have Bamboo? But fear not, all ye ruined peoples of the Jersey Shore. JWoww went on Jay "Wow" Leno's show last night and said that, while serious and "devastating" (popular word among celestial beings), the damage is "fixable." And JWoww would know. She knows all, after all. She is everything and everything is her. So take comfort, all you people whose houses are now one with the sea. Whose cars have been crushed by trees. Whose parakeets have fleeted up into the gray swirling sky to be with their ancestors. Your gods have not forgotten you. Now if those of us without power in lower Manhattan could just get Whitney Port to tell us what to do, we'd all be in good shape. [Associated Press]
Today is Halloween, which means it's time for costumes. Though they mostly live entirely different lives than us — blessed, exotic, removed — celebrities get in on the costume game just like us normals. Page Six says that Emma Roberts, niece of Julia, was at a big house party this weekend called "Nightmare on Arden Street" with a bunch of other celebs and that she was dressed in the same costume, wig and all, that her aunt wore as a hooker in Pretty Woman. And it's true, here is a picture. (She's dating Evan Peters, the jerk.) So that's all ha ha very funny, hope Julia appreciated it. But buried in this story about Emma Roberts is a far more titillating and intriguing bit: "Stars at the party included Zac Efron and a male pal, who arrived as Brokeback Mountain characters." !!!! Whaaaaaaat? Whooooooo? Who was Jack Twist and who was Ennis??? Wait. "MALE FRIEND"?? Male friend can mean a lot of things. A whollllle lot of things. Male friend. Brokeback Mountain. How fully do you think they committed to their costumes? Like, were they really Method about it? One hopes, of course. One hopes! Page Six, how could you lead with the Emma Roberts thing when there was something else so enthralling just a few sentences away? Keep your eye on the ball, guys. Don't bury the Brokeback lede again. [Page Six]