Andrew Ross Sorkin's Sour Grapes

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Today in gossip: CNBC host and financial author kid Andrew Ross Sorkin is upset about not landing an interview, more on this whole Joe Simpson rumor, and we've another royal wedding to attend. 

Even though New York Times financial wunderkind and CNBC Squawk Box host Andrew Ross Sorkin recently called Greg Smith's Wall Street confessional Why I Left Goldman Sachs "boring" and said that it didn't offer anything "particularly revelatory," he's apparently throwing a fit because CNBC gave its Smith interview to his coworker Maria Bartiromo instead of to him. Page Six says that he's being a big whiny baby about the whole thing, trying to convince Smith to cancel his interview with Bartiromo and reschedule with him, even claiming that that's what CNBC bigwigs want. So, ha, if true, what a lame-o. First off, only someone who's way too far into the belly of the beast would find a book about how Goldman Sachs is habitually and systematically amoral "boring." Talk about jaded, yeesh. Also, dude, you just got done smugly trashing the guy's book on television. Maybe he doesn't want to do an interview with you? But really this just feels like someone's feewings are hurt now that his Too Big to Fail book isn't getting as much attention as it used to and now there's this new guy on the scene and he doesn't like it. Or something. Andrew Ross Sorkin doesn't strike me as the coolest of dudes, is what I'm saying. He seems a bit, y'know, like the kid who raises his hand a lot and gets pissy when he doesn't get called on. Or the one guy in a group of nerd friends who's touched a boob. Y'know? That may not be true, but his reaction to this book has been a complete turnoff, making him seem clubby and know-it-all-y and so inured to the whole system that he thinks everyone should know how terribly these banks operate, because duhhh. Well, no, actually, not duh. Because most people don't sit around glued to hacky shows on CNBC all day. No duh. No. Have a good interview, Maria. (Who, by the way, is no prize of journalism herself.) Also, here is a funny quote from a CNBC spokesperson about the whole matter: "When you are first in business worldwide interviewing more than 1,000 people a week, there is more than enough opportunity for our stellar stable of superstars." Hahaha. "Superstars"? I don't think that word means what you think it means. [Page Six]

Back to important news: If Radar is to be believed, Jessica Simpson is said to have been "completely blindsided" by her dad's revelation that he's gay and dating Louis Tomlinson from One Direction. She never suspected that her father might be gay or dating a mop-topped young crooner from South Yorkshire, but here's the news, telling her otherwise. Because she has gay friends, apparently Jessica is determined to come to terms with the news and support her dad, and has pledged to stop 'shipping Larry Stylinson and will start supporting Jouis Simplinson. It's what a daughter has to do, really. We wish everyone the best. [Radar]

Ohh my, another royal wedding is in the offing. This time it's one of the pale snow people from Sweden, as Princes Madeleine of that dark and barren arctic prison has gotten engaged to a square-chinned captain of American industry named Chris O'Neill. The princess, aged 30, is the daughter of Sweden's King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silvia and is fourth in line for the crown. But should her siblings die from snow madness or in aquavit accidents, as is very likely in that sun-deprived tract of frozen wasteland, O'Neill would not receive any royal title as her husband. It doesn't work that way, I'm afraid. So get those dreams out of your head, Chris. I know you want to rule over the icicle kingdom, perched high on the shimmering, frost-covered throne of mammoth bones, but it ain't gonna happen no matter how many grisly luge accidents befall Madeleine's family. So call it all off now. And why would you want that anyway? Have you been to Sweden? What is there to love about solid infrastructure, low poverty, gorgeous wilderness, cosmopolitan and well-educated cities, beautiful people, and sunlight until 10pm in the summertime? I mean that place sounds like a total nightmare. [People]

Oh dear. Sean Combs, otherwise known as Piff Diddles, was in a serious car wreck yesterday in Los Angeles. His driver "T-boned" another car that was making a dangerous left turn, causing extensive damage to Perf Doodles' Escalade and leaving Deedums so shaken up that he had to lie down on the grass to collect himself. It doesn't seem like anyone was seriously injured, but it was apparently scary enough to rattle even the indefatigable Pumpf Dandy. Joking about his name aside, I don't blame him! Car accidents are scary and sometimes after something scary you just have to lie down in the cool, cool grass by the side of the road and say, whoa, here I am, I am alive, that was scary and could have been a lot worse, but I am here, and I am alive, and here is the grass and there is the sky and I've been around the world and I I I can't find my baby. Sometimes that just needs doing. I get you, Puff. I get you. [TMZ; Daily Mail]

Oh lord. Sad Jill Zarin, formerly of Bravo's sad Real Housewives of New York City, was on Andy Cohen's sad Live! From the Root Cellar talk show a few weeks back and it got intense when she talked about getting fired from Housewives and whatnot, but it mostly went O.K. But now Bravo is upset because they've learned that one of Jill's entouragers taped the entire interview with their phone just in case Jill was later edited badly and they needed to produce the whole interview as a rebuttal. Jill has confirmed that this happened, saying "Someone in my party did use an iPhone, because they love me and wanted to protect me . . . to make sure I remembered what I said, and that what I said was accurately edited. It was for my own protection." For her own protection, yes. They could also have advised their friend not to come crawling back to the network that fired her, that might have kept her protected too, but OK. Anyway, it doesn't seem that anything is going to happen with the full interview, because Jill is happy with the edit that aired and says that now that she's been on Andy's little show, "all these networks want to talk to me." Uh huh, sure, "sniffed" one of Page Six's inside-TV sources, saying "Secretly taping an interview is no way for Jill to get herself back on the network . . . or any network, for that matter." Which, mmhm, point taken. Oh Jill. Just go back to living your life. Just live your damn life and forget these insane TV dreams. [Page Six]

Reese Witherspoon might be recording a song with Michael Buble. Ya huh. It's not clear why or when this would be happening, but it seems like it might be anyway. Witherspoon has, of course, sung before, in her Oscar-winning role as June Carter Cash, but that was, like, in character. This would just be Reese Witherspoon singing for the purpose of people hearing Reese Witherspoon sing. That's a whole different animal. And with Michael Buble. Actually, I'll bet if you're a nervous celebrity laying a track down for the first time that Michael Buble is a very giving partner, y'know? Like I'm sure he's all "You just do you and I'll make it sound aces," and then he miraculously does. He's human autotune, I'll bet. So, sure, Reese. Record that duet. How much you want to bet it's a Christmas song? Although, is it too late to be recording Christmas songs? I could hear them doing "Baby It's Cold Outside," because there haven't been enough cutesy celebrity duets of that song yet, after all. Do it! Do it for Christmas! [Us Weekly]

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