Last night was the second season premiere of FX's grim, gunky, 'n' glorious American Horror Story, a show so shamelessly filthy and melodramatic that it's almost heartwarming. Last season's gnarly tale involved a troubled family who moved into an even more troubled house, one haunted by dead babies and murdered women and a ghostly sex sadist in a black latex body suit. Despite all that lurid phantasmagoria, there were a few wisps or tinges of genuine emotion wafting throughout the punishing twelve-episode run, just enough to keep the show from sinking completely into pulverizing nihilism. This season, though? Well, based on last night's episode, it seems like we're mostly dealing with gore and ghoulishness.
The episode opened in appropriately terrifying manner, meaning one of the first people we saw was Maroon 5 singer and The Voice mentor Adam Levine, as unsettlingly creepy a pop singer as you can find these days. He and his pretend wife, Jenna Dewan, were in the middle of a weird honeymoon, visiting America's twelve or so most-haunted places. (Presumably they'd been or were planning on going to the first season's Murder House?) They'd just arrived at the crumbling ruins of Briarcliff Manor, a TB hospital turned mental facility where clearly some gruesome things had gone down. The two young lovers goofed around, made sexy eyes at each other, and then made actual sex on some sort of operating table. (An unpleasant visual that included Levine spitting on his hand and, well, y'know.) What could possibly go wrong?? Well, Levine stuck his arm in the wrong cell door food slot and, oops, the darn thing got ripped off by some sort of barely glimpsed monster creature. Cue screaming, cue shaky credits, and then after all that, we're transported back to1964.