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We predicted this. Or, at least, we predicted the impending backlash to our nation's growing obsession with yogurt—Greek yogurt, specifically. Our Rebecca Greenfield discussed this horrifying matter in mid-August in a piece in which she warned us to get ready, the public opinion of yogurt was about stop being polite and start getting real, or something like that. Today via the New York Post we've been informed: It's real, in so much that it's completely not real at all. It is a trend. Or, in the faux-incredulous words of Dana Schuster, "Instead of a hot new bar, New York’s beautiful people are flocking to . . . a yogurt shop?"

She becomes more definitive post-lede, however, recommending that anyone "looking to meet leggy models, fedora-wearing men and walking, breathing street-style blog memes" need only head to SoHo's new Chobani yogurt cafe, the "place to see, be seen and eat lean." It gets worse:

Pretty young things who like the white stuff have flocked there to gobble down fancifully topped, $4.25 bowls of Greek yogurt with the same gusto Hampton-ites guzzled the summer’s last supply of rosé.

This is not just an insufferable reality, “it’s a trend and it’s a fad and New York is all about that,” opines a 36-year-old sales assistant at SoHo’s M Missoni boutique named Jasmin Karalic. Schuster reminds us, though, that Chobani SoHo is not just partaking of the trend, glomming onto the yogurt bandwagon and piling its promoted fare into ravenous bird-mouths with a silver spoon, but instead is the vanguard: As the first stand-alone Greek yogurt place in New York City, "it’s setting the waves in motion," inventing a whole new food service model with "artisanal creations" from a "curated menu" with "gourmet combos" created "on-the-spot by in-house 'yogurt masters.'” It's kinda like Coldstone Creamery (remember them?) but, like, with yogurt. GREEK yogurt. 

Oh, and it's also being touted as a date spot. Backlash machine, your prompt to move into high(ly glamorous!) gear is here.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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