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Richard is still stuck in traffic at the Wilshire and Santa Monica intersection choosing between The Ivy's Chopped Salad and the Crab Salad (really, you should always go with the classic), so we're doing our part to catch you up with the showbiz news of the day. Today we find ourselves, lamenting over X Factor's not so great ratings, Adele's new Bond ambitions, Isla Fisher getting Arrested,  and the return of The Walking Dead (zombies, we found, are impervious to bad plots and haphazard writing). Let's get this started: 

X Factor isn't winning. After a "modest" premiere, America's third-favorite singing show saw another night of mediocre ratings. Deadline has the specifics and the mumbo jumbo of why the show's the 3.2 /10 ratings are bad, but what it all means is that the people who X Factor wants to appeal to just aren't tuning into the show. At first they blamed its toothy host and got rid of him. And then they blamed Paula Abdul and the Pussycat Doll and Simon sent both packing. And yesterday, they blamed their not-so-great ratings on The Voice. Now with nothing but itself standing in its way, X Factor will have to take a good long look at itself and figure out what's really wrong (tick, tock Ms. Lovato, tick, tock). There is a bright side though! X Factor isn't America's Got Talent, which saw a 33 percent drop in ratings in its finale compared to last year. AGT also lost 100 percent of Sharon Osbourne who confirmed last night to the fourteen loyal AGT viewers and the lost souls who thought they were watching X-Factor. [Deadlline, The Hollywood Reporter,]

And speaking of singing shows, quick, who won The Voice last season? X Factor? American IdolDuets? Haha Duets.Well obviously, that's because those shows aren't really about the winners. But you know what? We'd wager you'd be humming "Payphone" or "Dance Again" all day if we whistled the few bars. And that's probably the reason future Idol judge/political pundit Nicki Minaj and current Voice judge Christina Aguilera have both released brand new songs--just in time for the new seasons of their respective singing shows. Sneaky. Sneaky. [Entertainment Weekly

Also, possibly better music news, Adele will be singing the theme song to the newest Bond movie, Skyfall. [Showbiz 411]

Arrested Development has reportedly added Mrs. Borat, Isla Fisher, and Terry Crews to its resurrected season. No one is saying what exactly Fisher and Crews will be doing next season, but this is great right? She's funny sometimes, and they're both likable people. Purists, take your grumbling elsewhere. [Zap2it]

In other casting news, Grace Gummer, daughter of Meryl Streep, will be joining ABC's midseason drama Zero Hour. Of course we're writing this because (1) we wanted to write a paragraph where we could tie Meryl Street to the hate-watch that is Smash and (2) we never want people to forget that those vindictive Smash writers actually had the humor and audacity to make a Streep scion say this fantastic line, "I grew up in show business, and it’s this kind of crap that made me want to flee to Micronesia!" Okay. We're done here. [Entertainment Weekly]

The third season of The Walking Dead is back on AMC screens in one month, and as is the custom these days, they've released a nice little trailer in hopes that you forgot what an ambling mess of a season last one was (how did they not know Sophia was in the barn?). From the looks of it, there seems to be more stabbing, some new characters, and lots of looks of shock from the characters we do know. Just as long as there's no more barns and no more mention of Sophia, we're good to go. [Bloody Disgusting]

Kevin Costner has inked a deal with Atria books to produce and star in the film adaptation of an adventure novel series called The Explorer's Guild which Costner compares to Arabian Nights and The Red Badge of Courage. From what we remember from our copy of the Red Badge's Cliff's notes, that sounds fun right? "He’s producing and developing the book with writer and art director Jon Baird, and it will be heavily illustrated by Rick Ross," reports Deadline's Mike Fleming. We really hope it's this Rick Ross, but yeah, it's probably not. [Deadline]

And finally, Winona Ryder has confirmed rumors that she and Tim Burton are meeting and will be talking about the sequel to Beetlejuice. "I'm trying to think about how that would work. Obviously I'm not [the focal point], it's got to be Michael [Keaton]. So is it happening? It's being written, but is it happening?," she asked (?) The Toronto Sun. Winona, we don't know! That's why we're asking you in the first place. [The Sun]

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