Erratically behaving actress Amanda Bynes says she's doing OK. In fact she told People magazine that she is "amazing," setting off on a new life course. "I am retired as an actor. I am moving to New York to launch my career. I am going to do a fashion line." So... Oh. A fashion line? OK. Sure, that's fine. We hadn't... We didn't know that! But good for her. Before all that happens, though, she's been busy with other things: TMZ reports this morning that Bynes was kicked out of a spin class at an L.A. Equinox gym for acting weird. She apparently took off her shirt to reveal a black pushup bra (rather than the acceptable sports bra, I guess) and stopped exercising midway through to begin reapplying her makeup. This offended the instructor so much that he asked her to leave. Which... really? Can't you just let the lady act a little weird for the rest of the hour and not make a stink about it? She wasn't bothering anyone else; she was just putting on makeup. But I guess she didn't show the proper respect to the almighty Equinox Spinning Instructor, which of course is the most noble and mighty profession in the land. "How dare you defy me, isolent Earth child!!!" the instructor yelled into his little headset mic thing. "Leave this place!!" And so she did. But she's not banned from the gym entirely. No, the instructor's power only goes as far as the mirrors by the door. Past that it's all up to Gary the membership director. [People; TMZ]
Is Blake Lively pregnant? People are starting to whisper... The recently married actress (she got hitched to Ryan Reynolds at a secret wedding a few weeks ago) has been eating a lot more than usual on the Gossip Girl set, according to mysterious sources. "Blake is usually really careful about what she eats, but since her wedding, she seems to be eating a lot more. Everyone on set is on bump-watch." Oh, everyone on set is "on bump-watch"? They are, are they? I think it's time that "everyone on set" started doing their jobs instead of being on some lame "bump-watch." Which, also, of course the source did not say that. No one but gossip column writers uses a term like "bump-watch." If anyone does they are basically a monster. Anyway, I wonder what Blake Lively is eating so much of. Sweet, sweet sandwiches? Gigantic turkey legs like what you see at Disney World? Maybe a few extra pieces of celery which she giggles at and says, "Oh, I'm so bad"? Box after box of Fiddle Faddle? What do angels eat??? [Page Six]
Apparently Paris Hilton, a person who used to be somewhat famous once, was recorded by a New York City cab driver recently saying the following: "Gay guys are the horniest people in the world ... they're disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS." Which... OK. Sounds pretty horrible out of context. But Hilton's people—she still has people for some silly reason—say that in actuality she was talking to a gay friend who was telling her about "a website that encourages random sex by gay men with strangers." Which, haha, they were in a cab, so he was showing her Grindr on his phone. That's what was happening! Not the most refined of sentiments, certainly, but also not some blanket statement about all gay people. Fine... OK. Done. But then this Paris Hilton rep goes on for some reason, saying, "Paris Hilton’s comments were to express that it is dangerous for anyone to have unprotected sex that could lead to a life threatening disease." Which... oh, brother. Yes, I'm sure she was issuing some grand statement about safe sex and public health from the back of a cab one night. That makes sense. Just in case the cab driver happened to be recording her. Which is also weird! Why was this cab driver recording her? Are cab drivers always recording their customers? If so, I have a lot of strange phone calls to diners at three in the morning to explain. [TMZ]
Is the divorce of her parents hard on a six-year-old child? No one knew, until now. Us Weekly has cracked the case wide open and says yes — yes, it is hard. Specifically it is hard on Suri Curise, whose parents Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorced earlier this year. Yeah. It's shocking, I know. Most kids in first grade whose parents split up are like, "Whatevs, it's a jive situation but what can you do. Love leaves the room, you know? Sometimes love just does that. It's a tricky bitch, fickle mistress, ya dig? Anyway, what in the hell is seven plus six?" That's most six-year-old children of divorce. But Suri Cruise? Nope. No, she's taking it hard. She's "acting out," which Holmes is indulging a little but not too much. Meanwhile Tom is spoiling his daughter, which is something that happens in these situations too. So it's all a complicated family mess, to everyone's utter surprise. Normally you'd expect the kid to hardly notice all the turmoil, too consumed with reading Richard Brautigan books and debating the Philadelphia jazz scene, but that's not always the case, I guess. [Us Weekly]
Super-producer Scott Rudin had a party for author Michael Chabon's new book Telegraph Avenue at Graydon Carter's not-yet-open Beatrice Inn redo last night. Yeah, sounds like a scene, right? Rudin has already optioned the movie rights to the book, so we'll be seeing another bad Chabon adaptation some day not too long from now. Meanwhile Chabon's wife, novelist and sayer of things Ayelet Waldman, tweeted that she was "#sloppydrunk" and then said she drunkenly invited the whole party to Spa Castle. "Um. Yeah. One-hundred and fifty literary luminaries. And me and my big mouth." So... Just in case you weren't sure if Ayelet Waldman was still doing her whole thing, she is. Oh boy she is. [Page Six]
"Honey Boo Boo's Dad: I Ain't Losin' Ma Damn Leg." That's a headline on TMZ this morning. See, Honey Boo Boo's dad, Sugar Bear, suffered an injury to his leg while riding an ATV, doing some "mud boggin'," and now he might lose the darn thing because of an infection. But the family says that's just a rumor, and that Sugar Bear is, in actuality, going to be just fine. Which is good news if true. But it should not be an encouragement to any of you would-be mud boggers out there to just go flying around willy-nilly on your ATVS. Because, as we all should know, ATV accidents are the number one killer of men with the word Sugar in their name and of high school freshmen who drank too much Twisted Tea with their friend Randy. Number-one killer. It's nothing to sniff at, people. Never forget about ATV accidents. [TMZ]
And here are some pictures of Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber, and their two kids being a perfectly adorable family in New York City together. Look at how happy and well-dressed they are. Consider your own life. Does it look like that? If not, you lose. We all lose. [Daily Mail]
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