Nick Jonas, youngest Jonas brother (not counting the Bonus Jonas) and Broadway star, has Tweeted that he is a contender to be a new judge on American Idol. He would be joining wonderful moonbat Mariah Carey and possibly Randy Jackson, though it's unclear whether ol' Bowser might have finally been slain by Mario. (That means that Randy's return to the show is unconfirmed as of yet. Randy is Bowser. You can't tell me you don't see the connection.) Jonas seems like an awfully young choice; successful as the Jonas Brothers may have been once (and it is very definitively in the past tense), he's still pretty inexperienced. Ah well. At least one person seems excited about the prospect: We're told that when Ryan Seacrest heard the news his eyes widened and he said, "W- W- What? Nick J- ... Baseball... baseball... Nick... I gotta... I... Hunnhhh...." and then he closed his eyes and that's when whoever told him figured it was a good time to leave his office and shut the door behind them. [The Wrap]
The Weinstein Company is investing in a new project, a movie called The Ends of the Earth that will star Jennifer Lawrence. The film is a based-on-a-true-story tale about a wealthy man who falls in love with his adopted daughter. So Jennifer Lawrence has booked her first Woody Allen film! Good for her. [Deadline]
Oh, brother. Lindsay Lohan, currently on a strange and lurching and uncertain career reboot journey, might be joining the cast of Scary Movie 5. She'd be joining Ashley Tisdale and Charlie Sheen in the film. Which... Who loses there? Hm? I mean, everyone loses, but who loses the most? Gotta say Tisdale, right? Not only is her first "grownup" film (in that there will be horrifying sex jokes, as is Scary Movie custom) a fivequel to a bad spoof series, but her costars will be two crusted-over piles of drugs. (Not to be insensitive to Lohan and Sheen, but these people have been menaces to themselves and, more importantly, others over the years and we just keep givin' 'em chances and indulging them because why not.) Not good for Tisdale. Also really not good for actors Anthony Anderson and Regina Hall, who were in a few of the early Scary Movies and will appear in this and deserve far better work. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Anderson and Hall should steer clear of this one too: ABC has bought a primetime soap pitch from junk-peddler McG that's a modern Romeo & Juliet set in Venice Beach. One family is rich, the other is poor, kids fall in love, etc. Eyugh. In more capable hands this could be interesting, but this is McG we are talking about. McG who directed This Means War, which was so frightfully bad that I made a promise to myself after watching it that I would never see anything he was involved with ever again. Yeah, yeah, I know he produced The O.C., but I'm sorry. That is not enough. Forget Chik-fil-A. It is time to boycott McG. He hates everybody. [Deadline]
Get ready to feel sexually uncomfortable for a few minutes this fall! Cool cat dreamdate Joseph Gordon-Levitt will be guest starring on sunshine-y kid show Sesame Street next season. So you'll have all of your fond childhood memories lingering terribly with, y'know, the JGL sweats. And Zac Efron's going to be on too. And Jon Hamm. So basically a lot of you are in trouble. On the other side of the ol' Kinsey scale or whatever, there's gonna be Halle Berry, Paula Patton, and Kristen Bell. So, everyone's gonna be all squirmy, afraid that they're maybe actually turned on by the Telly Monster and not by the raven-haired temptress Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, who will also guest star. [Entertainment Weekly]
Sacha Baron Cohen has successfully pitched a spoof of the James Bond movies to Paramount. Or rather a spoof of the James Bond character? Basically a suave British super spy "is forced to go on the run with his long-lost brother, a moronic soccer hooligan." It's not clear whether Baron Cohen will play a role in the film, but probably he'll end up playing both guys, Klumps-style. That seems like something he would do, right? "The name's Klump. Papa Klump." [The Hollywood Reporter]
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.
We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to email@example.com.