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Today in celebrity gossip: Alec Baldwin has angered churchgoers in the Hamptons, Kristen Stewart has gone into relative hiding, and Taylor Swift is even more of a cradle robber than we thought. 

Havoc-wreaking Hamptons homeowner Alec Baldwin regularly attends Most Holy Trinity Parish in East Hampton with his new wife, and, shockingly, he seems to have angered some parishioners. Apparently Baldwin is a total attention hog and is always going up to the pulpit to do readings and that just really burns people's butter. So Baldwin is basically a vain, Catholic Ned Flanders? One churchgoer said of the troubles, "When people go to the church, they don’t want to see the movie star up there." Which, OK, I don't know that that's entirely true. When people go to church they maybe don't want to see *Alec Baldwin* up there, but they'd maybe be perfectly fine with other movie stars. "Hey, there's Julia Roberts, neat." "Oh look, Tom Hanks!" Y'know? Like I don't think it's any movie star in general, I think it's Alec Baldwin. Anyway, there's a rumor in St. Petersburg that during a recent Baldwin reading, some parishioners stood up and turned their backs to him in silent protest. Which, what are they, idealistic kids protesting a commencement speaker? Come on, this is church. This is Catholic church. And that's what you're disagreeing with? Simmah down, everyone. Simmah down. For his part the priest says he wasn't there when all this happened and Alec's rep said he was too focused on the reading to see such a thing, but added just in case, "But does someone violating the sanctity of a church even deserve a response?” Oohh. Sick church burn! The Hamptons are heatin' up you guys. [Page Six]

Ruined strumpet Kristen Stewart is in hiding. She has pulled out of a movie called Cali that she was supposed to make with Alex Pettyfer (maybe she just saw him act in Magic Mike and was like "Oh hellll no") and she's canceled her red carpet appearance at the London premiere of On the Road next week. She is just too ashamed to show her face! And especially in Britain, whose native son she befouled with her cheatery with... well, another British guy, so. Maybe it all comes out in the wash? Who knows. The point is, Kiki Stewart, once the smirk-goddess of everyone's dreams, the quirky red carpet fixture, has now been reduced to hiding in a shack somewhere and hoping the moral police don't soon bang down the door and drag her to Azkaban Prison for Loose Women. My how things change. Robert Pattinson, meanwhile, is drinking and hanging out with friends. So, OK, not everything changes. [Daily Mail]

Speaking of loose women that the moral police should have their sights on, good grief the increasingly dreadful and unseemly news coming out of the Kennedy compound these days. The latest is that infiltrating country tick Taylor Swift, 22, began dating Conor Kennedy, grandson of Robert, when the poor innocent lad was just 17. Crime! Criminality! If the two, er, well, fornicated, then surely that was a nefarious illegal act! Knowing this, some shadier branches of the family advised that the relationship stay secret until Conor's 18th birthday, which has since come and gone. So everyone is complicit in this hideousness. Sage Andrea Peyser only had it half right. Everyone's dirty here. No one gets out clean. [Page Six]

Historically black university Spelman College is said to be heavily recruiting Olympic gold medalist Gabby Douglas, even traveling to London to start wooing the 16-year-old gymnast early. The president of the university, in fact, Beverly Daniel Tatum, flew out herself to chat up the family and give Douglas a Spelman gift bag. She said of the smiley acrobat, "A young woman who has demonstrated the drive and discipline needed to achieve world-class excellence is likely to have what it takes to be successful at Spelman, and we would welcome her interest in the college." Which, can't disagree there! Though, really, if she's going to go to a HBCU, we'd strongly prefer she attend Hillman. (And, oh god, if you want a little rage breakfast this morning, read the comments on the post. They are... unfortunate.) [TMZ]

Lady Gaga likes to have sex on the beach and drunkenly take her top off at bars, the only reason you never hear about it is that she has good friends who protect her or something. So... OK. Sure. That's... You know what would be a really free spirit type of thing to do? Not always talking about what a free spirit you are. Just a thought. [Page Six]

Oh, well, this is nice. Darlene Cates, who played the housebound obese mom in What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, has lost 250 pounds and is thinking she might act again. That is a good story! Certainly a better story than what happens to her in the movie. Though at least in the movie she gets hugged by Leonardo DiCaprio all the time. He's probably not hugging her too much these days, is my guess. Anyway, congrats Momma! [People]

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