NBC's Billion-Dollar Olympics

Today's Hollywood news: An Olympics record has already been broken, Alex Pettyfer and Kristen Stewart are the newest item (on screen!), and MTV makes a wise renewal.

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An Olympics record has already been broken, Alex Pettyfer and Kristen Stewart are the newest item (on screen!), and MTV makes a wise renewal.

Finally, some good news for NBC. The tattered, impoverished network is not in great shape these days — most of its shows are dead or dying, prospects for new ones look grim, there's a raging grease fire on the fifth floor of 30 Rock that nobody's bothering to put out — so it must come as a relief to report that they've done a record-breaking $1 billion in Olympics ad sales, on TV and online. That is very big! $150 million more than they did in Beijing! It's hard to explain exactly why there was the big surge, but NBC isn't really interested in asking questions. Right now they're too busy handing a suitcase full of cash to some shady looking individual under an overpass, saying, "We told you we were good for it, we told you. We pay our debts. Now give us back our daughter!" And there's Bravo in the back seat of the shady person's car, bruised and tear-stained, face pressed up against the window glass in desperation. But you did it, NBC. You got your girl back. [Deadline]

Seeing as nothing else is going on in her life right now whatsoever, nope just a quiet summer, it comes as jarring news that Kristen Stewart is going to star in a snuff film. Well, OK, it's a movie, called Cali, about two people, Stewart and "actor" Alex Pettyfer, who make a fake snuff film, reap the profits, and disappear. But then Stewart has to come back from the dead to help her little sister who's in trouble. Oh, great. Faking a snuff film, huh? You guys know it's people like you who are to blame for Nicolas Cage going crazy, right? He's all riding high on Con Air and Face/Off and then, uh oh, he has to go looking into a mysterious snuff film and he goes crazy and in the end is left robotically raking the leaves in the front yard. This is serious business you kids are playing with. Just be aware of that. Anyway, enjoy your summer, Kiki! [Variety]
Rejoice, weirdos! I'm calling you weirdos because I'm assuming y'all aren't teenagers, which means you are weirdos for being excited that MTV has renewed its cute high school show Awkward. for a third season. And that's not all: They've ordered a whopping 20 episodes, which is almost twice as many episodes as they ordered for the first and second seasons. So you're gonna get a lotttt of Matty McKibben, is what I'm saying. And, y'know, a lot of Tamara too. You can't win everything. [Entertainment Weekly]

Speaking of awkward, the cast of Modern Family is set to have its first read-through tomorrow and everyone is scheduled to show up, despite that awkward walk-out, lawsuit-filing thing yesterday. Negotiations aren't done, but the embattled cast members are doing a "good-will gesture" and showing up to work anyway. Yikes, that's gotta be uncomfortable. "Hey guys! Haha, sorry, we're here! We brought muffins! Sorry for the oopsies! Haha, let's just jump into it, shall we? We're not happy enough with our millions, but let's not speak any more of that! And you kids, who get paid in literal peanuts, how are you? You look great." Oh who am I kidding. Actors never feel bad about asking for things. [Deadline]

The CW has unveiled a new tagline, "TV Now." TV Now? Eh, not really. More like "TV Recorded And Watched Furtively On A Saturday Afternoon Because You Can Only Even Barely Admit To Yourself That You Watch These Shows, Let Alone Watch Them Live With A Bunch Of Kids And Vampdorks." Or, "TV On Netflix At Some Later Date When You Have A Hangover And The Most Complex Thought You Can Process Is 'Onion Rings'." Either one could work. But "TV Now"? Nope. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Lifetime has ordered a pilot of a show that Renee Zellweger is producing that's kinda sorta based on her life. I'm excited for the part where she makes New In Town and says "I don't even know what I'm doing in this." [The Hollywood Reporter]

Here is the first trailer for Ang Lee's movie adaptation of Life of Pi, a theological/philosophical book that was super popular and has now been turned into a CGI-filled thing that was clearly filmed in a water tank. Hope that satisfies everyone!

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.