Justin Bieber's Filthy Mouth

Today's celebrity gossip brings us news of a blue-streaking Justin Bieber, a devastated Robert Pattinson, and a guilty Russell Brand.

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Uh oh. Teen angel Justin Bieber is turning into a grown devil. The singer, 18, was recently on a flight from Australia back home to Neverland, when he was scolded by a fellow passenger. Seems he and his entourage were playing some sort of game in which they swore loudly — four-letter swears, other kinds of swears, maybe even a "merde" here and there to spice things up — and the woman, who was on the plane with two small children (well, three if you count Justin), eventually walked up and said "Enough of that, young man, it is inappropriate." Or some such business. Bieber was reportedly deeply embarrassed, he's still a kid after all, and getting publicly scolded by a grown lady like that is pretty freakin' (see, Justin? No swears here) embarrassing. So, it begins. Justin Bieber is growing up. Pretty soon he'll be shaving and driving a sensible American car to some sort of office park where he works in some midlevel job and stares out the window and sees the trees in the wind and the mailman walking down the street and he thinks "That'd be a good job. Outside all day. Just me and my thoughts." But then the phone will ring and he'll have to turn around and answer it and the day, all the days, will press on like that forever. [TMZ]

All right, back to Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart and Cheatgate. Pattinson is apparently destroyed, yelling at Stewart (somewhere, at some point, it's unclear) that she "completely humiliated" him and moving out of their shared house for an indeterminate time. So who knows what will happen with them. I mean, whatever happens they're gonna have to figure something out by, like, the middle of October, because they're gonna have a poop load (see, Justin? Still no swears) of press to do for the final Twilight film, which opens in November. That's going to be a lot of time together and it's up to them how awkward it is. Wouldn't it be interesting if they were just never photographed together, the whole time? That would be something. And look, sure Kristen is the villain here, but do any of us really think that Pattinson hasn't at least made out with Bill Condon at some point? I mean, come on. We're all humans, right? Sexual beings. These things happen. Everyone just mellow out. [Daily Mail]

Oh, well, hm, I suppose during all this talk of Kiki and Patz that we should maybe, maybe pause for a second and think about the wife with the two kids who was affected here. Y'know, the director's wife? Yeah. I guess she's sad. Huh. Go figure. [Us Weekly]

Cate Blanchett's life is perfect. Sure she and her husband Andrew Upton are busy running the Sydney Theatre Company and acting in and writing and directing all the plays, and sure their children are basically growing up in a theater, but that's OK. Everything is perfect. I mean, come on. It's Cate Blanchett. Wouldn't your life be perfect if you were Cate Blanchett? Well, unless you were running a supermarket, according to Cate herself. But otherwise, yeah. It'd be pretty f-cking perfect. (It's OK there, Justin.) [Page Six]

Russell Brand has been given community service by a New Orleans judge following an incident this spring in which the comedian grabbed a paparazzo's cellphone and threw it, breaking it. It's unclear what his community service will be exactly, but we'd hope it involves walking around New Orleans and kindly turning off the televisions of anyone about to watch Brand X. "No, no," he'll say. "Mustn't do that. No, no." [AP]

Zac Efron and some lady named Cheryl Burke (I think she's on So You Think You Can Dance With Stars) were seen being "flirty friends" at a club in Los Angeles recently. They were chatting all night, did a little dancing, and went to the bar together to get drinks for their friends. His hands full of drinks, Cheryl sweetly signed Zac's credit card receipt for him. Then they spent the rest of the night talking mostly to each other. So, hmmm. What could be going on there? Zac Efron and a lady from a dance show giggling and chatting all night? Probably some scandalous gossip, a little fashion advice ("White's good on you," Zac says, nodding his head emphatically, "Mmhm. It's really good with your tone."), maybe a little relationship talk. ("He's not good for you, Cher," Zac says, shaking his head emphatically. "Mhm. He's just no good for you.") You know, that kind of thing! "Flirty friend" things! [People]

Asked what he wants to do once his last Olympics are over and he's a free man, swimming champ Michael Phelps said that he'd love to try skiing and snowboarding. He's always wanted to, but never did for fear of injury. Which makes sense! I'm sure he'll be great at it. Asked if there was anything else he might like to do, Phelps nodded his head slowly, and said "Well, of course, I'd love to return to my home, to sit beside my father King Triton in our murky kingdom, and then when father passes on to the dark waters, to rule when it is my turn to reign. But first, snowboarding." [Us Weekly]

Lady Gaga will be making her first movie appearance, doing a cameo in Robert Rodriguez's sequel to Mexploitation action comedy Machete. No word on who or what she'll be playing, but we're gonna guess it'll be hilaaarious. (It will not be hilarious.) [Page Six]

McSteamy has quit Grey's Anatomy. And someday, one hopes, Grey's Anatomy will quit us. [Daily Mail]

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