Some 'New York Post' Covers We'd Pay a Buck for
As of Monday, The New York Post will cost $1 on weekdays. How many Post covers and headlines stand up to the dollar test so far this year?
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The price of the tabloid paper we love to hate is going up. As of Monday, a year after the The New York Post increased its cost from 50 cents to 75, the paper's price is increasing to $1 on weekdays, according to Politico's Dylan Byers. (The Saturday newsstand price goes up to $1.25, and Sunday is $1.50.)
How we feel about this is a bit abstract since we tend to get much of our news the new-fashioned way, but we did wonder, sparked by Daily Intel's inclusion of that memorable "Crazy stox like a hooker's drawers
" cover from last year in their item on the price change: How many New York Post
covers and headlines stand up to the dollar test so far this year? How many do we deem actually worth a buck, for punniness, funniness, or sheer audacity? How many hark back to that gold standard of a Post
cover: "Headless Body in a Topless Bar"?
We found a few.
June 15, 2012. (Today!)
True, it's not particularly punny, but "The face that launched a thousand bottles!" manages to incorporate a Helen of Troy reference
into the nightclub fight between Chris Brown, Degrassi High
Drake, and whoever else happened to get in the way in this epic brouhaha. For this, plus the promise of images of a rather destroyed-looking nightclub, not to mention the promise of descriptions of an epic brawl, we would hand over four valuable laundry quarters.
June 7, 2012.
This cover about the hardware store rope boom as connected to the unbelievable popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey
trilogy is too good (and hilarious) to pass up. A model! In lingerie! With rope! "Knotty Secrets," tee hee. Pairing it with a sad story about a woman who died from donating a kidney offers a strange disconnect and is not ideal; the matching purple shirt/purple lingerie is a little weird, too. But back to the rope. We'd buy it. (The paper, that is.)
May 5, 2012.
Sometimes it's like they write themselves.
Never forget: The Tan Mom series! This one, from May 3,
with the special close-up orange tones, we like the best. "Toast of the Town," "half-baked," indeed! Also good is the cover that followed on the 4th
, in which tan mom tells her detractors that they're just jealous of her tan flair ("I'm Hot Stuff"), and the follow up on May 10
, which features Tan Mom at the top of the page in full, crazy-looking glory.
April 16, 2012.
There's nothing wrong with Hillary Clinton drinking beer in Cartagena—in fact, we give her props for that, and only wish we got invited on bar crawls like these with the Secretary of State—but there's also nothing wrong with this portmanteau-pun: It's pretty Swillary.
March 29, 2012.
This is so random and therefore perfect. With some creative Photoshop work, a fake pig nose was placed seamlessly upon the nose of a woman to fantastic 3-D effect. Design awards judges, take note. Also, "Pork Chop."
February 22, 2012.
There are a lot of good DSK covers, but "Ho La La" says it most melodically, with classic pervy Post
aplomb. Nice French touch, too.
Honorable mentions to "Dirty Rock," about Alec Baldwin's alleged stalker, "Why I fled New York to raise chickens" (Come on!); "A Night to Dismember"; "City Lost My Sister's Brain! MIND LESS"; "This Is Your Captain Freaking"; "Madamn! All eyes on stunning E. Side 'call-girl' aide"; "Anything Ho's!" (about the Mommy Madam); any number of Jeremy Lin puns; "Chicken of the Sea"; and probably a lot more.
I guess what we're saying is, yes, we'd buy the Post for a buck. It's a national treasure, pretty much. Also, it's only a dollar.
This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.