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The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: America's favorite singing competition isn't its favorite anymore, a comedy actor gets serious, and Bradley Cooper joins the SEALs.

Well, after a season of record-low viewership, the 11th American Idol tourney has finished out its run on the bottom. Last night's big glittery finale had the lowest ratings of any Idol finale ever, with a would-be-big-for-anyone-else 21.5 million viewers. That's down more than 30% from last year. So... uh oh! Though, really, most Idol finales since like season three have hovered in the high twenty millions, so the show hasn't fallen that far. But, seven to nine million viewers is a loss enough, and is something that Fox will have to consider in the future. Idol will be back next season, but beyond that, who knows! Who really knows. If the show does go away, at least we know that Ryan Seacrest has fourteen other jobs to fall back on. America's aspiring singers will just have to get music careers the old fashioned way: By sleeping with roadies and selling cassette tapes out of the back of their hatchbacks. That's right, kids. It's back to the old method: Going down on an A&R guy in a parking lot in North Hollywood. [Entertainment Weekly]

Interesting: Taran Killam, Saturday Night Live's resident beautiful dancer, has been cast in a very serious movie. He's joining the ensemble of Twelve Years a Slave, Steve McQueen's followup to Shame about slavery in the 1800s. Killam will be playing "a traveling showman who abducts a free black man" and takes him to the South and sells him as a slave. Killam will be costarring with heavy hitters like Chiwetel Ejiofor, Brad Pitt, Paul Dano, and Steve McQueen's bestest friend ever Michael Fassbender. So, good for you, Taran! Now please dance some more. [Deadline]

Bradley Cooper, Hollywood's go-to guy for "What the hell are we going to do with you?", is producing and will star in an action movie about a Navy SEAL. Huh? They're remaking G.I. Jane so soon? Can it with the remakes, Hollyweird! [The Hollywood Reporter]

Here's a cast: Rosalie from Twilight, Turtle from Entourage, the red-haired girl from 90210, Chris Hemsworth's brother, and The "Dwayne Johnson" Rock. They're all in a movie together called Empire State and you will be going to see that movie, right? I mean, Turtle from Entourage!! [Deadline]

Anthony Hopkins might be joining the cast of Red 2, the sequel to that strangely delightful old people action comedy from last year. Yay for you, Anthony! Shoot those guns! Also joining the group will be Catherine Zeta-Jones. But hm, wait. The last time Zeta-Jones joined a sequel it was Ocean's 12. So does that mean that Red 2 is just going to be some smug showoff about how Bruce Willis and John Malkovich and Helen Mirren are so cool and are hanging at Clooney's in Como and oh, yeah, here's a smarmily nonsensical plot and an obnoxious scene about Mary-Louise Parker pretending to be Mary-Louise Parker? Because that we do not want to watch again. Get out while you still can, Dr. Lecter. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Here's a redband trailer for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter that shows lots of gore and stuff and also some more dialogue and oof. This movie looks tremendously bad, right? Just so awful. Can't wait to see it.

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