Could Desperate Housewives Really End Any Other Way?

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The series finale of ABC's she-business show Desperate Housewives airs on Sunday, and so the days leading up to it are filled with sweet, poignant stories about the cast and crew saying goodbye to one another after eight long years. Well most of it is sweet and poignant (not actually, but in theory at least, or thematically). One story is instead mean and hilarious!

As is tradition, the cast handed out thank you gifts to the crew, with a little note of gratitude from the girls. It read: "Just know that on all your future adventures you are carrying a little piece of our love and gratitude. Thank you for a magical 8 years. Love, Eva, Marcia, Felicity and Vanessa." Do you see what is missing there? Teri Hatcher's name! Yes apparently Teri Hatcher is really mean and the other cast members hate her so they all got together and did these group gifts and left her totally out of it. Yiiikes!

This is a funny story because a) It means absolutely nothing to anyone in the world and is probably the dumbest thing ever, and b) It's a story about a bunch of really rich 50-year-old women acting like they are in middle school and it's the day before Christmas break and one of them didn't wear the same fun Christmas outfit because the other girls, who all match, didn't tell her the plan. Also, did Teri Hatcher get the crew her own gifts? Nobody has said! Because no one will report on it because they are too scared to ask her, and because it's funnier to imagine that she showed up to work on the last day and said to one of them "Give me the damn card so I can sign it," and like Felicity Huffman or someone looked at her all fake upset saying "Oh no, we didn't know you wanted in on the gifts. We already gave them out. Sorryyyyyy..." The story is best exactly like that.

So there you have it. Acrimony 'til the end for the ol' Desperate Housewives. It just feels right.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.