Is there anything the Internet loves more than a corgi? If they're not starring in many a Buzzfeed blog post (including but not limited to "Welsh Corgi Getting a Bath Evaluates 8 Cat Food Ads"; "The Most Perfect Corgi Ever"; "Obama Riding a Giant Corgi"; "Corgi Catching Treats in Slow Motion"; "Corgi Breakin the Law"; and "33 Photos of Corgi Butts"; not to mention the self-described Corgi-palooza "Corgi Flop GIF Wall and 50 Corgis at the Beach"; they're appearing under Gawker's "Death by Cute" slug, alongside words like "lovable" and "adorable." Clearly, the Internet desperately wants us to accept the viralization of the corgi, feeding it as they are to us bit by bit, like so many pieces of kibble. What we are about to say is a matter of much controversy, but it must be asked nonetheless: Are corgis even that cute?
Briefly, let's examine the corgi:
Head: Not as beautiful as a weimaraner, nor as perfect as a labrador retriever, nor as adorable and hypo-allergenically fluffy as a cockapoo, the corgi face is reminiscent of your bawdy uncle who farts a lot and one time took all your allowance money in a game of poker, except then he left it for you under your pillow where you found it only after crying for hours over the loss of your hard-earned savings when he had to get out of town quick-like. Point being: A corgi is questionable, even if its heart is good, and a corgi would sell you down the river if it had to, smiling with cocked head and gleaming brown eyes. Unfortunately, you can't hate the corgi, even when the corgi is scamming you hardcore.