Welcome to the Smart Set. Every morning we bring you the gossip coverage, filtered. Today: Royals are acting criminally, Tiki Barber hits a marital snag, and Nicki storms off the internet.
Uh, oh! Pippa Middleton, sister of British empress Kate Middleton, could be in some legal trouble, could possibly be facing arrest even, for an incident that happened in France over the weekend. No, she didn't rashly try to impress her sister by marshaling some troops and ships and invading Normandy. She was with some pals in an Audi in Paris and, while besieged by photographers, the driver of the car she was in pulled out some sort of semiautomatic pistol and waved it at the pesky paps. No one was shot or anything but France is pretty strict about guns and stuff, so the driver could face a maximum of seven years in the clink (two if the gun wasn't real), while Pippa and her other car mates could at the very least be arrested and brought in for interrogation. Imagine the scandal! "Let her rot in a French jail," Kate will shriek, throwing something heavy and brass at a chamber maid. "I'll take off her head myself!" And then all that can calm the raging queen is a goblet of wine and a merry dance from her fool, Russell Brand. It's hard ruling England, especially when your splashy sister is running around Paris with weapon-wielding jerks. Bet you Elizabeth never had these kinds of problems. [Us Weekly]
Speaking of royal embarrassments, the Monégasque royal family is scrambling to hush a story about Princess Grace's grandson Pierre Casiraghi breaking his jaw in a bar brawl at a nightclub in the Meatpacking District of fair New York. Seems The New York Post got wind of the incident, which happened in February at Double Seven, and ran a story, which was picked up by French and German news outlets. Now those outlets are getting legal letters from Monaco, which is desperate to cover up the oopsy. Lil' prince Pierre was at the club with none other than Greek shipping heir and general bar menace Stavros Niarchos when they got into it with former Hawaiian Tropic Zone owner (cool job) Adam Hock. Hock is claiming that he was merely defending himself against the two belligerent party boys, but he's charged with assault anyway. So, Monaco, time to lock Pierre up in the tower or marry him off to some Transylvanian duke's daughter so he'll be stuck in the Carpathians, safe from prying eyes. Just whatever you do don't introduce him to Pippa Middleton. That's how world wars start. [Page Six]