Justin Bieber Is a Man

Today: Justin Bieber's new song sounds awfully grown-up, ABC Family makes a big buy, and Will Ferrell is trying to get his kid into college.

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The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: Justin Bieber's new song sounds awfully grown-up, ABC Family makes a big buy, and Will Ferrell is trying to get his kid into college.

OK, maybe Justin Bieber isn't exactly a man, but he is at least an older boy now. The 18-year-old pop squealsation has just released the first single from his upcoming record Believe, and it is, like, a little sexually charged. The song, called "Boyfriend," is mostly pretty tame, with wonderful references to both fondue and Buzz Lightyear (beat that, Barenaked Ladies), but there's also a lot of whisper-grunting going on that feels vaguely reminiscent, or directly reminiscent actually, of another Justin who skipped the plane of teen kiddie stuff and onto the one of sex-oriented grownup grunting, Mr. Timberlake. So Justin Bieber may well be on his way to adulthood, a terrible land full of taxes and beards and ugly shoes. Of slowed metabolisms and aching joints and dying family pets. Welcome, Biebs. We're so sorry you're here.

Speaking of grownup things, ABC Family — the sunshiny teen network that plays shows about big-headed brown-haired girls with enormous lemur eyes — has bought the broadcast rights to The Hunger Games (and its upcoming sequel Catching Fire), a popular new movie about children murdering each other. So that seems like a good fit, right? "After a new gymnastics adventure on Make It or Break It, stay tuned for 12-year-olds getting spears through the chest." "Will Jane ever kiss Billy? Find out tonight on Jane By Design, followed by teenagers snapping each other's necks." Seems about right to us! The films will air on the network in 2014, which is so far in the future who really even cares. Won't the solar flares have gotten us by then anyway? Or maybe this is an indication that by 2014 ABC Family will be a much darker network. "You liked Pretty Little Liars, and now you'll love Big Ugly Murderers, starring Michael Shannon, Udo Kier, and Lacey Chabert." Can't wait! [The Hollywood Reporter]

Will Ferrell has signed on to play the lead in a movie adaptation of the book Crazy U: One Dad's Crash Course In Getting His Kid Into College. It's all about expensive college counselors and the SATs and campus visits and all that hilarious stuff. This article is mostly interesting for the fact that Mike Fleming talks about where he went to college and about his kids applying to school and it's funny to think of a Deadline writer having a life and family outside of Nikki Finke's hell dungeon of entertainment toldja reporting. Good for you, Mike! Go Pioneers! [Deadline]

The Wachowskis, Lana and Andy, are pursuing Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis. Not for romantic dates, at least we don't think so, but for the leading roles in their planned upcoming sci-fi extravaganza Jupiter Ascending, which is about Roman Zeus devouring Sunnydale High School. Or, you know, something else. They're actually being pretty tight-lipped about the plot, but if Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis are their dream leads, we'll have to assume that the movie is about two ugly jerks who nobody likes because they're so ugly and are jerks. Two Ugly Jerks Descending should be the name of this movie. That or Speed Racer 2. [Deadline]

So we began with Justin Bieber, meaning we must end with Twilight. Here is the new teaser trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, the FINAL film in the franchise. Yup, the last one. Can you believe it? Seems like just yesterday that Bella first discovered she was a wizard and was swept off to Percy Jackson's School of Witchcraft and Hunger Games and then met Jordan Catalano and got in trouble with Mr. Belding. Where did all that time go? Sigh. Anyway, in this final film Bella herself is now a vampire, so that actually could be somewhat interesting (oh who are we kidding, if they couldn't even make the dang sex scene in the last movie interesting, nothing can be interesting), plus we hear that Bella is finally going to find out what lies beyond that wardrobe and that her friends Elizabeth and Jessica might leave Sweet Valley for good. Should be quite the movie.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.