We're deep in the countdown to the most dreaded day of the year: Valentine's Day. Hated by many, adored obnoxiously by few, it's a day in which, if coupled, you're likely to be forced to do something rote and clichéd that costs more money than usual in order to prove your love. Alternatively, it's a day in which, if single, you risk falling into a bleary, stereotypical haze of weeping and stuffing yourself with chocolates to mourn the fact that you have no "Valentine."
We are here to help you through either of these unfortunate contingencies with this list, which will either provide something original for your last-minute V-Day plans... Or will merely remind you how glad you are to be single, because there is no way in hell you're touring a sewage plant, or oohing and ahhing over a cockroach that's been named after you on Tuesday.
The "date": Head to one of America's finest dining establishments, White Castle (better make a reservation!), where February 14 begins at 5 p.m. and you'll get a free dessert "and other heart-felt mementos" with your Valentine's Day dinner. They're also offering the chance to enter your "lovey-dovey" photo in their contest and win matching T-shirts, plus an at-home V-Day dinner kit.
Why you should do it: Where there is heat, there is steam. Also, free dessert.