Kevin Bacon Goes Slumming

Everyone's favorite footlooser is heading to the small screen, old people are hot in Hollywood, and Colin Firth heads to West Memphis.

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The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: Everyone's favorite footlooser is heading to the small screen, old people are hot in Hollywood, and Colin Firth heads to West Memphis.

Let's just skip the requisite "six degrees of" joke and cut right to the chase: Longtime movie actor Kevin Bacon is finally headed to television. Sure he's done the occasional TV movie or guest spot, but he's just signed on for his first actual series since Guiding Light. Bacon will play the lead in the new Fox pilot from Kevin Williamson, which is about "a diabolical serial killer who uses technology to create a cult of serial killers, and a retired FBI profiler (Bacon) who finds himself in the middle of it." Hm, OK. But it's serial killers done by Kevin Williamson, so will their weapon of choice be unending movie references? Will they kill their victims by making them watch the college years of Dawson's Creek over and over again? (Luv u, Charlie.) This sounds suspicious. We would have liked Bacon on some meaty HBO show or something, that would have been worthy of his movie star talents, but not a Fox crime procedural show where everyone uses ten-dollar words in eye-rolling fashion. But oh well! We'll take bacon where we can get bacon. [Deadline]

Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Alan Arkin are teaming up to do an action movie called Stand Up Guys, about two old crooks having one last night out before one is supposed to rub out the other one. (Rub out? Is that really the phrase we want to be using here? We're using it anyway.) It's not clear where the third old guy comes into the picture, which used to be called Old Timers and is being directed by Fisher Stevens (yes, that Fisher Stevens), but he'll be in there somewhere. So is this a thing now? Because of RED? Old people action comedies? Are we having an old people renaissance? Can't wait for the Entertainment Weekly cover about how Old People Are Having a Moment. "Tell me, is it harder for old people in comedy?" Did Christopher Hitchens ever write anything about how old people aren't funny? What do Oldzebel and The Oldpin think about this? We need to know about the old people in movies! [The Hollywood Reporter]

Oh well isn't this enchanted and darling! A little twinkly creature with the little twinkly name of Tom Wisdom — yes, Tom Wisdom, he lives on Pensive Lane and often has tea with Will Wit — who looks like this has been cast in the upcoming Romeo and Juliet movie that stars Hailee Steinfeld and this disgusting monster. He'll play the role of scorned suitor Paris. Wisdom was previously seen in the action spectacular 300 and its sequel, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. Tom Wisdom! Tra la la! Whistley-whee! [Deadline]

Back to the garbage dump: Showtime has renewed their shows Californication, Shameless and House of Lie$ for more seasons, so get ready for more swears and potty talk and boobs and other horrible things in 2013. Just lots of f-words and c-words (good thing none of these shows air on Tuesday or the c-word jokes would never stop) and h-words and z-words and probably some x-words and t-words and definitely some u-words and some #-words and toward the end of the season some %-words and a smattering of 7-words. Just some really dirty, filthy, unpleasant-depending-on-the-show language that Showtime is respectably building their brand upon. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Colin Firth has joined the cast of the West Memphis 3 movie Devil's Knot, playing a private investigator who becomes a champion for the defendants. He joins Reese Witherspoon, who is playing the mother of one of the victims. So, good for him. This item is kind of funny because of this sentence: "As Deadline revealed just after the West Memphis 3 murder defendants were released from prison August 19..." Ha, as if the two were in any way, shape, or form related. This is movie news. It has nothing to do with the criminal case, guys. But, nice try. Very nice try. [Deadline]

Aha! The Les Misérables musical movie may not be so miserable after all! Taylor Swift is no longer going to be playing Eponine in the film. No, instead it will be a British girl who performed the role in the 25th Anniversary Concert. Her name is Samantha Barks and she just might save this movie. Well, probably not, but at least Taylor Swift isn't in it anymore. Now if they could just rethink Anne Hathaway... [Entertainment Weekly]

Here is a first photo of the new James Bond movie, Skyfall. From the picture we can glean that the movie is at least partially about a gun. So, that'll be interesting. A James Bond movie with a gun in it. Also maybe it's set in Thailand? Do those look like Thai characters? Or are they just pictures? Hard to tell from this otherwise very revealing photo! [Entertainment Weekly]

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