Chris Meloni Is a Vampire

Today: Chris Meloni officially joins True Blood, Tom Cruise frightens in a new musical trailer, and Paramount gets a new look.

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The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: Chris Meloni officially joins True Blood, Tom Cruise frightens in a new musical trailer, and Paramount gets a new look.

Well, it is now official. Law & Order: SVU alum Chris Meloni has finally gotten far enough away from the case to take another job. He'll be playing an ancient and powerful vampire on the next season of Say Yes to the Dress True Blood. Interesting! It's unclear if it's a one season kinda deal, like so many parts on the show, or if he's in for the long haul. And the haul will be long! Sure Sookie's already battled werewolves and witches and fairies and that lady from The Killing who was still upset about Rosie, but there are more ghouls to be contended with! She hasn't yet faced goblins or gnomes or trolls or Voldemort or even the bitter financial realities of supporting herself while apparently only working as a waitress like one shift a month. Or, hey, how about Sookie vs. the White Walkers?? Game of Thrones crossover! "Sookie is a very annoying character." "It is known." Just get real weird with it, HBO. Meloni will follow. [EW]

The lovable squishy teddy bear (that you have impure thoughts for) Chris Pratt is apparently in talks to star in Kathryn Bigelow's next movie, a true-life military drama called Kill Bin Laden. It's pretty apparent what that's about, right? Something to do with Morgan Spurlock? Whatever the hell it is, it sounds serious, and serious would be an interesting change of pace for Pratt. Or rather a continuation of the work he did recently in Moneyball (which wasn't really that serious) and that he did a long time ago in Everwood. Ha, remember Everwood? Take me away, Ephram Brown! Sigh. Anyway, what were we talking about? [Vulture]

George Clooney is the first actor to sign on to do a Los Angeles reading of Dustin Lance Black's Proposition 8 play that was read in New York earlier this year. He released a statement about equal rights and all that, which is good for him. He seems like a nice, civic-minded fellow. But it is weird that he signed on to play Maggie Gallagher. The guy just likes a challenge, we guess! Someone get the prosthetics kit... [EW]

Hey, why don't you tell the kids to leave the room, OK? If you're at work and there no actual kids, just shoo the intern out or something. Because what you're about to see should not be seen by the young and innocent. It is the trailer for the movie adaptation of hair band jukebox musical Rock of Ages and there is so much splendiferous awful contained within it that a child's (or intern's) tender eyes would surely melt from their skull upon a single glimpse of it. Tom Cruise is doing some sort of bare-chested calisthenics, Alec Baldwin thinks this is some joke video he's making for a friend's birthday, and plus there's Russell Brand. It's terrifically scary! And also kind of exciting, in a dumb old way. Rock on, you disgusting monsters!

And here's a trailer for Tyler Perry's new emotions party Good Deeds, about a man whose last name is Deeds and who does good things. Isn't that something? Such a clever little play on words. Sure he wanted to call it Good Will Hunting, but obviously that terrible (if you think about it, it's just really awful) title was already taken, so Good Deeds it is. He thought about calling it Charitable Acts, but Wesley Acts just didn't work as a name. Nor did Wesley Charitable. So it's Wesley Deeds.

Studio nerds (are there such a thing on this tattered old blue marble?) will find this interesting: Paramount is changing the classic mountain logo that plays before its movies. No, no, it's not going to become like one of those annoying production company ten-minute-long things, they're just changing the look of the mountain. It's a little further away and you see more of the surrounding terrain. The "100 Years" thing will go away in 2013, but the new mountain will stay. The old mountain was bought by the Gap, which is still trying to get their act together.
Here is a trailer for Sacha Baron Cohen's new jam The Dictator, a comedy about some sort of Middle Eastern, uh, dictator that now feels either very timely or almost even a little dated in light of the Arab Spring and whatnot. But oh well, there is at least a tasteless yet groaningly funny joke about America and AIDS and, look, that's John C. Reilly! He's funny! This movie looks like it will likely make some people angry, but that's not anything new. Someone's always angry about everything. There is something to be mad about in literally everything. Don't believe us? We rest our case.

Oh look, it's a little slideshow post about all the old 90210 actors seeing what they're up to now and what kinds of careers they would have if Vulture had its druthers. It's all fun and lighthearted until you realize that we, all of us, are ever hurtling through time toward an obscure and meaningless oblivion, we mere particles in an ocean, faint blips on a radar, everything fleeting and over already, o cruel time. Which is to say, look at all their wrinkles! [Vulture]

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