Most Soap Operas Really Are Dead

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The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: soap operas are dropping dead left and right, someone's doing some secret Snow White promotion, and Justin Bieber's underpants.  

Well, that's that. After a few months of struggling to figure out how they would do it, the company that was going to put new episodes of canceled network soaps One Life to Live and All My Children online has decided it can't get the funding and other stuff figured out, so they're scrapping the idea. Meaning, those two soaps, and really most soaps, are done for good. There's still Days of Our Lives (when are Will and Sonny gonna kiss already??) and General Hospital and all those beautiful, bold, young, restless people, but it's a dying art, for sure. So, in true fashion: Cue sad music, turn to the fake window of the fake estate overlooking the fake yard, swirl your sparkling glass of brown liquor, finger your huge bejeweled necklace, and emote. [Deadline]

Ugh, here is an actually sad thing. A crew member on G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation was killed in an accident on the movie's New Orleans set. So, OK, let's shut the thing down then? If a sequel to G.I. Joe has killed somebody, it's probably best to just throw in the towel. And don't say that he would have wanted the production to go on, because we're not talking about Schindler's List here, we're talking about the sequel to G.I. goddamned Joe. Shut it down, guys. The whole thing is already well past worth it. [THR]

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Haha, apparently someone is going onto movie message boards and websites' comments sections and saying really positive things about Mirror Mirror, the Julia Roberts Snow White movie. Apparently all the commenters have different handles but are all coming from the same IP address and ohhhh lord. Please tell me someone was like "Huh, they're all coming from New Mexico. Who lives in New Mexico... Oh dear god." And then it cuts to Julia Roberts in her desert mansion, a bottle and a half of Malbec in, furiously typing away while Bonnie Raitt blares on the stereo. Please let that be the truth of the matter! [Deadline]

Among the upcoming guest hosts on the new Regis-less Live! With Kelly will be Jerry O'Connell (currently doing a Broadway show with Alan Rickman of all people), Josh Groban, and... Jonah Hill? Yes, Jonah Hill! The guy has both a cartoon show and a new physique to promote, so we suppose it makes sense. Still, seems a little rissssky. That kid can talk a blue streak. But maybe that risk is half the fun. Hopefully this means that, in a few weeks' time, Ripa will name Blowfly as her permanent cohost. [THR]

First lookz! Here are two movie first looks. The first first look is of the upcoming Ridley Scott sort-of-Alien-prequel-but-really-not movie Prometheus, which costars the suddenly absolutely everywhere Michael Fassbender. This seems very intriguing! If, you know, you are a nerd who likes theorizing about possible space prequels to space movies. [EW] The second first look is for the upcoming sci-fi movie John Carter, based on the old Mars-set book series by Edgar Rice Burroughs. The whole plot is like super duper involved and sounds very crazy but something cool to note here is that this is Pixar's first-ever live action film. Up's Andrew Stanton is directing, just like how another Pixar genius, Brad Bird, recently directed the new Mission: Impossible movie. Oh, and the interstellar dreamfox that is Taylor Kitsch stars. All pretty cool. This image, though, is less than cool. Here is what the picture should look like. But it doesn't. Oh well. [EW]

We'll end with a funny story about Justin Bieber wearing a sweater that people deemed too expensive, and then earlier wearing pink underpants that people deemed... too pink, or something. Poor Justin Bieber! Weird little kid can't catch a break. Granted, the sweater is ridiculous, but did they need to go and do the obvious phallic microphone photo choice? Well, look, it's really hard to resist using those photos when you write something about Justin Bieber, but still.  Anyway, that sweater story is at THRthe underpants story is (NSFW? Do you work at a preschool?) is here. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. 

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.